ABC's 2 PDX

Welcome to my personal guide to my favorite city on this planet, so far. Yes, this is Portland, Oregon. Most of you know it well, but I think I’ve done a pretty good job of really getting to know this city. I have compiled a little companion guide to the Portland I know. No, it does not contain every hip spot in town. You all know how I feel about “hip”. There are only a couple places listed here that start with Il, El, Le, or La, and none of them serve $15 pasta to my knowledge. I’m a simple guy and these are simple, but fun, places. I’m not into bars that pour Ovaltine and vodka into a martini glass and call it a martini. I’m not into restaurants that place a teaspoon of beef on a plate, drizzle some spiced mayonnaise over the top, and call it dinner. I don't like reservations and I won't wait to be seated. I’m not even too fond of clubs that have a guy on stage with a turntable and call it a concert. I enjoy seeing, but try to remain unseen. And for those of you who are part of my Bizarro world, well Portland can give you all that too… you’ll just have to find another guide for that lifestyle.

Trying to split this down into a minimal number of categories was difficult and many of these places and adventures could have slipped into more than one spot. I tried to keep Dish & Dat limited to places that are known predominantly because of their food... places where you just get hit with that craving and have to have it. Whereas, Suds & Sounds is for places that I like to hang out at with my pals while having a beer or catching some of the local music I love so much. Yes, some of these places even have fantastic food, but it’s more about vibe and alternatives than just cuisine for this grouping.

Check It is a listing of some of the amusing places to experience that make Portland stand out from the rest of this big island. We may not be the largest metropolis around, but we have some pretty exclusive features that get some big time attention.

365 highlights all the great annual events that come and go throughout the year. Some of them aren’t necessarily local, but they are all Oregon (aside from one short trip north), and there’s nothing wrong with a little drive around the great Pacific Northwest.

Speaking of driving around, Tripometer points out some of the other great destinations that are just hours away from Portland. P-Town is one of those special places that is situated just hours away from the Pacific Ocean, high plains desert, great mountain ranges, and lots and lots of lakes, rivers, and waterfalls. I think the only environment we are missing may be a jungle with monkeys. Do you really want to be neighbors with a bunch of monkeys?

And finally a topic that is close to my heart… Soon To Be Famous. Most of you know of my love for music and Portland just happens to be one of the best undiscovered treasures of the music world. Its one of those odd things where everybody around the country, even the world, knows it, but most big labels have left us alone after watching what happened to Seattle after the big Grunge/Alternative movement of the early 90’s. Seattle’s music scene was almost destroyed after being engulfed by MTV. Indie Rock is huge and Portland is spearheading the movement.

And be sure to check the facts and figures on Portland and the state of Oregon under This & That at the very end.

I almost felt it necessary to create a PDX Hall of Fame for such things as the Psychic Church of Elvis, Jim Spagg, Portland Wrestling, The Satyricon/Fellini’s, Poison Idea, The Sandwich Depot Deli, The Pine St. Theater/La Luna, and Portland’s Advertising Museum. Along with the greatness we already possess, much greatness has come and gone.

Again, I have not listed everything existing in Portland. I don’t like everything about Portland. But I love a lot of what is happening here. I encourage you to fill in some of the blanks. It’s all about taste. And while I may have left out your favorite spot to grab some fancy dessert after eating at Willamette Week’s number one pick for some Pan-American fish dish at a location that won’t exist in two more years, I have told you where you can find the best hot dog in town. The best part about this guide… knowing that in a couple years from now I will be able to add so much more. Our forefathers were onto something when they said a constitution can always be amended to roll with the punches. We’re always growing and filling up with some of the best of the best. And hey, if you felt I left something out... let me know… or better yet, give me a call and let’s meet there some time. I look forward to it. But for now, I give you the Portland I love.

Dish & Dat

2007-12-02T11:31:00.001-08:00

Alameda Brewhouse ~ 4765 NE Fremont St, Portland, OR 97213,
Phone (503) 460-9025, http://alamedabrewhouse.com/
Well, it only makes sense that I would start out with a place that could easily fall under another category, but that’s probably a good sign of what’s to come. This is one of those places where I don’t go to near as much as I would if I just lived a little closer. The last time I ate here, the food was fantastic. They make beers that hold up to others around town. As a matter of fact, they used to have a beer made out of flowers that was about as good as anything I’ve ever had. From what I remember, it might take a second to get a seat though.

American Dream Pizza ~ 4620 N E Glisan St., Portland, OR 97213
Phone: (503) 230-0699, http://americandreampizza.net/
This is not the best pizza in town, but it’s better than 95% of the rest and some swear by it. What I like most about the menu is that you can get just about any pizza topping on your salad.

Apizza Scholls ~ 4741 SE Hawthorne Blvd, Portland, OR 97215
Phone: (503) 233-1286, http://www.apizzascholls.com/
As seen on Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservation, this pizzeria will most likely give you a whole new perspective on pizza. And this place is full of rules, as the owner is known as “The Pizza Nazi”. You only get one meat and are limited to the number of toppings. But it’s ok. Your pizza will be outstanding. Just remember you had best get there a good twenty minutes before the door opens wearing your boxing gloves. Those nasty Pearl snobs don’t feel they have to wait in the line that forms and will literally try to push you out of their way when the doors open. And when the cook runs out of crust, the doors close. The doors always close.

Bastas Trattoria ~ 410 NW 21st St., Portland, OR 97209, Phone: (503) 274-1572
http://www.bastastrattoria.com/
It had been years since I last stepped foot in Bastas. I remember it being pretty decent and not overly snooty. Our waitress was a kick in the pants. The three of us had six beers, bread, escargot, clams, calamari, pork w/potatoes, and risotto... ringing in at about $60 at the end of the night. That's pretty nice.

Beaterville Café ~ 2201 N Killingsworth St., Portland, OR 97217-4442
Phone: (503) 735-4652
Another great dining experience I haven’t been to in some time simply because I live so friggin’ far away. I miss the funky vibe and one of the best breakfasts in town. A great alternative to some of the more popular spots for that first meal of the day.

Le Bistro Montage ~ 301 SE Morrison St., Portland, OR 97214
Phone: (503) 234-1324, http://www.montageportland.com/
Ok, I know I said I wouldn’t deal with places that start with “Le”, but don’t be fooled. This faux snobbery is all about fun. Yes, Le Bistro Montage has thrived on being overrated, but I don’t know too many who leave this place frowning. The food is simple. They’re famous for their wide variety of takes on Mac and Cheese. They believe in mixing it up as you will be seated at long tables with others you most likely will not know. And you’re encouraged not to finish your meal as the take home foil sculptures are the highlight of the evening. It can be a little difficult to locate if you’re not familiar with S.E. Portland’s secret world under the system of bridges. Just look for the line at the front door. And yes, they’re still open until 4:00 a.m. on weekends.

The Blind Onion Pizza & Pub ~ Multiple locations on NE Broadway, SW Montgomery, & E. Mill Plain Blvd in Vancouver. http://blindonion.com/
Personally, this is the second best pizza in Portland. I’ve only frequented the location on NE Broadway. It feels a bit like a Hobbit hole as you walk in to the tiny labyrinth. I am a carnivore, thus I prefer their selections of meaty pizzas, but they have something for everyone. The crust and sauce are unique enough to make the place stand out. And while you’re waiting, grab a game off the shelf and enjoy some trivia or Connect Four.

Bugatti’s Ristorante ~ 18740 Willamette Dr., West Linn, OR 97068-1719
Phone: (503) 636-9555
Yes, you’ve probably seen a bunch of knock offs around town simply called, Bugatti’s. Don’t be fooled. You must take a drive out to West Linn for the real deal. There’s not a whole lot to say. It’s just good Italian food.

Bunk ~ 621 SE Morrison St., Portland, OR, 97214, Phone: (503) 477-9515
http://www.bunksandwiches.com/
Many moons ago, God spent his afternoons at the greatest sandwich place he had ever created. The Sandwich Depot Deli has since vanished from their home on NE Grand, but God had a plan. If his favorite place to find a sandwich was gone, he would have to open a new sandwich shop, something... perfect... and then there was Bunk. After eating at Bunk, I feel ridiculous for even making a PB&J. My first exploration into Bunk presented a Pork Belly Reuben smothered in gruyere cheese, kraut, and Russian dressing. My buddy took on the meatball monstrosity that nearly did him in, giving me a chance to sample one of the uneaten meatballs. I've always been a bit of an Agnostic, but Bunk certainly is one more sign that there could be a higher power. And check out their website for info on their new place Bunk Bar... great sandwiches with booze.

Cadillac Café ~ 1801 NE Broadway St., Portland, OR 97232-1429
Phone: (503) 287-4750
I have to admit that I have not been here in years, but from memory I would say this is one of the top breakfast spots in town. I still hear great things, so I don’t believe time has taken its toll on this place.

Castagna ~ 1758 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Portland, OR 97214, Phone: (503) 231-9959
http://castagnarestaurant.com/
So, how does one list just half of whole? Castagna is two places in one. You have the restaurant half, and you have the cafe half. Seeing as I've only been in the cafe, that is all I can write about. By now you all have figured I pretty much avoid places when the word "fancy" might apply. But, when you're on a date and she wants to go somewhere, this is where you go. I've read the reviews... "Castagna has the best cheeseburger in town." How can a fancy place serve the best cheeseburger in town? I don't know. And maybe they don't. But, I will say it is a damn fine cheeseburger. Nearly as good as the burger is the fries that come with it. Damn you fancy place and your good food at people prices!

Cameo Café ~ Multiple locations on NE Sandy Blvd., NW Westover Rd., NE 72nd Ave. in Vancouver, http://cameocafe.com/
Cameo has been draped in local awards and praise for “best breakfast”. It’s great diner food. Just make sure that whatever you order comes with a side of their Strong Bread.

Campbell’s Bar-B-Q ~ 8701 SE Powell Blvd., Portland, OR 97266
Phone: (503) 777-9795, http://campbellsbbq.com/
Another confession… I haven’t been here in a while and I have heard rumblings of “new ownership”, “new management”, “may not be as good”… But, if the place has held on to what they once had Campbell’s easily fits into the Top 5 rib joints in town. In particular I remember loving their hot sauce. But that’s just me.

Cannon’s Rib Express ~ 5410 NE 33rd Ave., Portland, OR 97211
Phone: (503) 288-3836
For me, this is it. This is what BBQ is all about. BBQ is a very personal thing. Portland is loaded with BBQ stands all over the place, and I have heard every single one of them proclaimed as “the best”. People like their BBQ for specific reasons. With Cannon’s it’s the perfect blend of BBQ sauce with the tenderness of the meat, and their side dishes meet my expectations. Sure, Whacky Czaba’s (R.I.P.) had the best side dishes around, and maybe Yam Yam’s (R.I.P. as well) has the best meat, or Clay’s has the best smoke, but Cannon’s is the best all around BBQ experience for me.

Clay’s Smokehouse Grill ~ 2932 SE Division St., Portland, OR 97202
Phone: (503) 235-4755, http://clayssmokehouse.ypguides.net/
Speaking of Clay’s… I have only been to this place a couple times, but was extremely satisfied both times. And I know many people who swear by it.

Clemente's Fresh Seafood & Market ~ 1198 Commercial Street, Astoria, OR 97103,
(503) 325-1067
When I first stepped foot into this place, I thought it was a trap... over priced, pretentious, foo foo, gah gah... then I looked at the menu and everything was in the $8-13 range. Yet, it said fresh seafood. I had visions of me an hour later hunched over a toilet releasing my "fresh" seafood back to the sea. I ordered the fried oysters, dad got the fish & chips, and we split some calamari. Amazing! It's all I can say. Everything is as fresh as it can be, cut to order, battered in a delicious light batter, and fried in rice oil. My dad, yes my dad, claimed his halibut fish & chips to be the best he'd had. My oysters were delicious. Usually, fried oyster harden up, but these stayed soft and gooey. The calamari was outstanding. If you make it to Astoria, this is a must.

Delta Café ~ 4607 SE Woodstock Blvd., Portland, OR 97206-6275
Phone: (503) 771-3101
The Delta Café didn’t become popular by having the best southern food in town. They became popular by creating one of the best spots in town to eat southern food. Where else can you order a 40 oz bottle of Pabst in an iced bucket for two?

Deschutes Brewery & Pub ~ 210 NW 11th, Portland, OR 97209,

Phone: (503) 296-4906, http://deschutesbrewery.com/

Anybody who has been to Bend, Oregon knows about the Deschutes Brewery and their tasty beers, and they also make some pretty great pub grub. And now Portland has their own Deschutes Brewery to kick around. Why go to the brewery when you can walk into any grocery store (and nearly any bar) and get a Deschutes beer? Well, because they have stuff on tap you'll never see in a bottle... magic stuff.

Dockside Saloon & Restaurant ~ 2047 NW Front Ave., Portland, OR 97209-1812
Phone: (503) 241-6433, http://www.docksidesaloon.com/
Have you ever wanted to feel like Rocky getting off work at the meat plant and head over to the local diner for some grub before the day ends, or perhaps… just begins. The Dockside is a joint. And I don’t know if they’re more famous for their breakfast or their lunch. I’ve had both and each was great in its own right. It’s a very blue collar vibe tucked away in industrial Portland, and they serve industrial dishes.

Du’s Grill ~ 5365 NE Sandy Blvd., Portland, OR 97213, Phone: (503) 284-1773
The bento craze came and went in the 90’s. A few places knew how to do it right and stuck around. Du’s knows how to cook your chicken, pork, or beef just right. And be sure to grab it in whatever combination you want. Just make sure you get some of their secret salad dressing on your rice.

Earth Oven Pizza ~ 337 E. Main St., Hillsboro, OR 97123, Phone: (503) 747-7743

Local residents of Hillsboro now have reason to celebrate. Hillsboro is a vast wasteland of national chain and fast food. The idea of dining out in Hillsboro can be somewhat repulsive aside from a tiny handful of decent places that serve edible food, and an even tinier handful of tasty food. Earth Oven is cranking out some tasty wood-fired pizzas. By the slice or by the whole, this place has restored my culinary faith in a town with so little to offer. Now, if I can just figure out how to move around in the tiny space.

East Burn ~ 1800 E. Burnside St., Portland, OR 97214, Phone: (503) 236-2876

http://www.theeastburn.com/

If you prefer to skip the hipster scene, go early. That being said, the food is better than average, the ambience is comfortable, and the rotating beer selection s top choice. Just remember that the upstairs bar and downstairs bar don't serve the same beer, thus you'll have to move around to make sure you didn't miss anything tasty. Larger people beware... the swinging wicker chairs are not for everyone.

Edelweiss Sausage & Delicatessen ~ 3119 SE 12th Ave., Portland, OR 97202,

Phone: (503) 238-4411, http://www.edelweissdeli.com/

Portland has plenty friendly rivalries amongst the food scene. Helvetia Tavern versus Stanich's for best burger seems to be the best known, but what about Edelweiss versus Otto's? Sure, Otto's gets all the national attention, and it's deserved. But, for as good as Otto's is with their delicious smoked meats, there's something to be said for Edelweiss and their more traditional European style deli. If you go for lunch, the sausage and bun are bigger, your options for toppings are more diverse, and your choices for sides will make your head spin. Personally, I opt for the Baked Potato Salad. After my first trip to Edelweiss all I could say was, "Ausgezeichnet!"

Escape From New York Pizza ~ 622 NW 23rd Ave., Portland, OR 97210-3209
Phone: (503) 227-5423
The only pizza I had when I was in NYC was crap. I know there’s good pizza there somewhere. I just didn’t find it. EFNYP is by far better than anything I’ve had in New York (But I'm sure I'm wrong). It has that classic thin crust that almost takes two hands to eat, and they stick to the basics. It’s open fairly late for that late night beer absorption if needed. And it’s about as dingy on the inside as you could imagine any hole in the wall pizzeria.

Esparza’s Tex Mex Café ~ 2725 SE Ankeny St., Portland, OR 97214-1817
Phone: (503) 234-7909
“And how would you like your rattlesnake served, sir?” is just one question you might hear. I’ve never encountered a restaurant in Portland that will draw such a love it or hate it response from those I ask. While most seem to enjoy the funky alternative meats of Esparza’s, there are those who just turn their nose to it. It’s not like they don’t have all the staples. And it’s been wall to wall packed every time I’ve been, so I think they’re doing okie dokie.

Fat City Café ~ 7820 SW Capitol Hwy., Portland, OR 97219-2466, Phone: (503) 245-5457
If there would be one place in town that might actually bring tears if it closed, it would be the Fat City Café. This place is near historical status at this point. It’s a fixture in Multnomah Village, and it has local notoriety. Their greasy spoon diner breakfasts aren’t great, but they’re good… good enough.

Fire On The Mountain ~ One location on E. Burnside (503) 280-WING and one on N. Interstate (503) 230-WING, http://www.portlandwings.com/

Sure, you have your Buffalo Wings with the traditional sauce, but check this place out. With a delicious array of regular alternative sauces to try out, as well as specialty sauces that come and go, FOTM is your one stop shopping when it comes to chicken wings. And the fries aren't too shabby either.

Flying Pie Pizzeria ~ 7804 SE Stark St., Portland, OR 97215
Phone: (503) 254-2016, http://www.flying-pie.com/
Yes, there are other locations as well, but for listings sake I will only speak about the original in SE PDX. Yes, my Mom thinks the Lake Oswego location has superior taste. And I will argue that, and also argue the fact that character carries a lot of weight with me. When you walk into the original Flying Pie you will feel like you just walked into a neighborhood pizzeria that has been standing since the first days of Portland. And yes… this is the best pizza in Portland. Don’t even try to argue with me. Just remember to get the garlic and seasoning, and make sure anything you order has their sausage on it. It’s my understanding that they make it themselves and it’s as flavorful as any sausage you will ever taste.

Food Carts ~ http://foodcartsportland.com/

You can call it a recent trend, but many long time foodies and food purveyors believe the food cart scene in Portland is here to stay. With innovative menus and low overhead, the food carts have slowly been taking over the food life in Portland. And even more popular are the Pods where multiple food carts all station up next to each other like a little community. I'm not breaking any barriers by saying my two favorite places thus far are Potato Champion and Whiffies, both at the pod on SE 12th & Hawthorne. PC serves up some killer fries with a mind boggling selection of sauces for dipping. Whiffies specializes in fried pies. My first was a peanut butter cream filled pie with chunks of chocolate. It's all stuffed into a crust sort of like when you get an apple turnover at Burger King, but the flavors and quality at Whiffies is beyond fast food. More recently I tried the pie stuffed with BBQ brisket and mozzarella. But I suggest you explore the city and check them all out.

Foster Burger ~ 5339 SE Foster Rd., Portland, OR 97206, Phone: (503) 775-2077

http://fosterburger.com/

I don't know what has taken me so long to finally get to this house of delicious ground beef. Foster Burger has mastered the hamburger. It's almost as if the very people making your burger are in love with preparing the perfect burger. The optional toppings are all top notch, and you are a fool if you miss out on an order of their Black & White Fries... perfectly cooked fries drizzled with truffle oil, topped with parmesan cheese, and served with black squid in aioli.

Geraldi’s ~ Locations at SW Lombard Ave. & W Canyon Rd. in Beaverton , and NW Glisan St. & SW 4th Ave. in Portland.

Ok, this is a situation I’m not real up to date on. There are multiple Geraldi’s, but as I understand it many of them are not owned by the same people even though they look exactly the same and have pretty much the same menu. So, for the sake of this guide all Geraldi’s are the same to me. This place is one of my favorite places to grab Italian style sub sandwiches. The Torpedo or Parmesan Chicken sandwiches are my personal favorites. And they make a pretty nice pizza too.

Giant Drive In ~ 15840 Boones Ferry Rd., Lake Oswego, OR 97035-3402
Phone: (503) 636-0255
This is your standard burger, fries, and a soda drive in. It’s a classic. ‘Nuff said.

Good Food Here (Food Cart Pod) ~ SE 43rd & Belmont

Another spot to get some of the best food cart bites in town. How about a Pork Belly Reuben at Lardo, or the fried Anchovies at Eurotrash? It's all good.

Gravy ~ 3957 N. Mississippi Ave., Portland, OR, 97227, Phone: (503) 287-8800

When you first sit down in this narrow spot you might look at the menu and realize that maybe you should go speak to your financial manager. Gravy is a bit on the spendy side for breakfast. You'll sit and wonder if this is a good decision. But then you see it... plates being brought out to other tables, plates filled with food the size of your thigh. And then your own plate is placed in front of you and your mouth begins it's amazing adventure in flavor. The chicken fried steak is actually a steak. The corned beef hash has real drippings of fat on the plate. And somehow the hashbrowns taste like French fries.

Gustav’s ~ Multiple choices at NE Sandy, SE 164th in Vancouver, WA, SW Greenburg Rd. near Washington Square, & SE 97th in Clackamas (See also Rheinlander on NE Sandy, http://rheinlander.com/ )
Whether it’s their Bier Stube, Pub & Grill, or German Pub & Grill you are guaranteed to get some good fondue and sausage dishes. Yeah, it’s a little franchisey, but they are local and it is good.

Hawaiian Grill ~ 105 SE Baseline St., Hillsboro, OR 97123, Phone: 503-640-8263

Big Island food for a small budget. This place hands out a heaping mound of your favorite meats on top of massive scoops of rice and macaroni salad. One order could feed a family of Octo-Moms. Be sure to check out the Spam Masubi.

Helvetia Tavern ~ 10275 NW Helvetia Rd., Hillsboro, OR 97124-8115, Phone: (503) 647-5286
Helvetia Tavern and Stanich’s probably have the longest standing feud in regards to who is the hamburger champion of the Portland area. Both are delicious, but each has its own signature taste. Both are located in seedy little tavern settings, full to the gills every day for lunch. I personally don’t think either of them are the best burger in town, but I love the tradition of competition. And be sure to check out all the hats at the Helvetia.

John Street Café ~ 8338 N Lombard St., Portland, OR 97203-3727, Phone: (503) 247-1066
I found this quiet café when I was stationed out in St. John’s. Breakfast breaks quickly replaced our lunch breaks when my work team found this little gem in the middle of Craphole U.S.A.

Kenny & Zuke's Delicatessen ~ 1038 SW Stark, Portland, OR 97205

Phone: (503) 222-3354
If you're like me and love a great pastrami sandwich, you're in luck. The pastrami and corned beef is made right there. As a matter of fact, I think a lot of their stuff is made right there. You don't see that much anymore. The Jewish Deli theme is heavy here. I had the pastrami and chopped liver sandwich with a bowl of matzoh ball soup. The sandwich was incredibly large, filling, and delicious. The soup was quite average. And yes, the prices do seem a little steep, but you won't leave still hungry. From what I hear, you should avoid the rush hours as the lines are long. This got my bonus stars simply due to that delicious pastrami.

King Torta ~ 10190 NW Glencoe Rd., North Plains, OR 97133, Phone: (503) 647-2808
So here’s how I’ve heard the story… the cook out at Super Torta in Oregon City left and started his own joint. And it seems he brought that perfect Carne Asada recipe with him. What’s a torta? Oh, it’s just the biggest sandwich stuffed with your meat of choice. Carnitas… Pollo… Lengua… yes, they have it all. You can have it in a burrito, a taco, a torta, or even try your meat of choice on nachos. And their tamales aren’t too shabby either. It may have been a figment of my imagination, but I think I saw one on SE Woodstock as well, so watch out!

Kornblatt’s Delicatessen ~ 628 NW 23rd Ave., Portland, OR 97210-3209
Phone: (503) 242-0055
For a foodie, I feel a little silly that it took me so long to get to this place. People would always ask, “have you ever been to Kornblatt’s?” And I felt ridiculous saying no. So, I finally made it in and was in heaven. A place that actually has a chopped chicken liver sandwich that rivals the Carnegie Deli in NYC? It’s true.

Legin Restaurant ~ 8001 SE Division St., Portland, OR 97206-1065, Phone: (503) 777-2828
Just like BBQ, the topic of best Chinese food is very personal. All I know is that when I am eating Dim Sum for lunch and realize that I am surrounded by a customer base comprised of mostly Asian people, I must be on to something. The potstickers are an absolute must. The one avenue I have not traveled is their little outside deli with roasted head on ducks hanging in the heated glass container, juicy slabs of pig, and other various animal parts coated in BBQ red.

Le Happy ~ 1011 NW 16th Ave., Portland, OR 97209, Phone: (503) 226-1258

http://lehappy.com/
So by now you have all learned that anytime something pops up with a “Le” here it’s going to be something fun. Le Happy is the only crêperie I know of in Portland. And they aren’t just for breakfast and snacks, although those are delicious too. It’s a very romantic, yet fun, place to take your favorite human to. Did I just dis romantic?

The Mad Greek Deli ~ 18450 NW West Union Rd., Portland, OR 97229-2119
Phone: (503) 645-1650
Back in the day you would walk in to the Mad Greek and there would be the cranky old man.

“Whaaat do you waaant?”

“I’d like a gyros with jo-jo’s, and…”

"Get out!”

You didn’t dare call them jo-jo’s or even worse… French fries. They are Greek fries dammit! The Gyros Special comes with one delicious lamb gyro, a mound of Greek fries, and a heap of Greek salad. It’s delicious. The old shack is standing in the middle of a suburbia development. The area was once surrounded by farms. And this was a little oasis of food for the ditch diggers. But just like the encroaching developments, things change. The old man has been beaten by his age. He is still there now and then, but you are not likely to find yourself defending your mere existence in his deli. Those days are gone. But the Gyro Special is still fantastic.

Marrakesh Moroccan Restaurant ~ 1201 NW 21st Ave., Portland, OR 97209
Phone: (503) 248-9442, http://marrakesh.ypguides.net/
It’s amazing to me how much can change simply by walking through a doorway. From the outside Marrakesh just looks like another restaurant, but once you walk in you are transported to Morocco, or so I am guessing as I’ve never been to Morocco. You are seated on little cushions in front of a round table just inches off the floor. The waiter comes by and has you stick your hands over a metallic pot while he pours warm water over your hands. You then begin devouring plates of chicken, lamb, and vegetables with not one piece of silverware in sight. This is true finger food. Of course you get a little distracted from your food while a lady is running around the room half naked belly dancing right in front of your couscous. After the meal you have one more hand washing ceremony, your hands are rinsed with an aromatic water, and you finish the night off with a delicious peppermint tea. This isn’t your normal night out for a meal.

Meaner Wiener ~ 190 W. Main St., Hillsboro, OR 97124, Phone: (503) 807-0195

Ride the MAX line out to Hillsboro until MAX finally just stops at the end of the line, take a look at the little window in the brick building, and order yourself up a hot dog from the great selection of sausages... linguica, cheddar/jalepeno, andouille, brats... you name it.

Michael’s Italian Beef & Sausage Co. ~ 1111 SE Sandy Blvd., Portland, OR 97214
Phone: (503) 230-1899
There’s a little science to ordering at this Chicago off-shoot. Personally, it’s just not a visit to Michael’s without getting the sausage and beef combo Italian style with hot peppers and sautéed onions. Oh yeah, and you have to get an order of French Fries. They are the best in the city. You will find yourself with a gigantic dripping sandwich coated with pizza sauce, then stuffed with sliced beef that has been stewing in au jus, covering a hand made spicy sausage. Then the whole thing is smothered in hot peppers and sautéed onions with provolone cheese melting over the entire masterpiece. There’s nothing like it. But definitely get the fries if you like ‘em thin, and crunchy on the outside.

Nacho Mamas ~ 17935 SW Pacific Hwy., Tualatin, OR 97062, Phone: (503) 612-7848
Have you ever been wondering if a place serves trough sized nachos? Well, you’ve now found it. And they’re pretty dang good.

Nicholas Restaurant ~ 318 SE Grand Ave., Portland, OR 97214
(503) 235-5123, http://www.nicholasrestaurant.com/
Gotta thing for Lebanese and Mediterranean food? Well, this is your mecca. It’s a tiny hole in the wall space filled elbow to elbow during the rush, but it’s fabulous and extremely affordable. You almost wonder if they’re even making any money.

Nick's Famous Coney Island ~3746 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Portland, OR 97214
(503) 235-3008, http://www.nicksfamousconeys.com/
Nick's has long been Portland's favorite hang when it came to old school Coney's served at the old school diner. A couple year's back the legendary owner, Frank, decided to sell the place. Nick's received a bit of an overdone facelift where much of the charm vanished. The food remained decent. Word is that since then, the place has changed hands once again. Rumor has it that the new owner's goal is to restore Nick's back to it's gloomy glory days. We'll see.

Noho’s Hawaiian Café ~ 2525 SE Clinton St., Portland, OR 97202
Phone: (503) 233-5301, http://www.nohos.com/
Holy crap I love this place!!! And it seems like everybody has their one dish they have to get every time. People are afraid to order anything other than their favorite, and I swear I think I know somebody for each dish there. I feel guilty that somebody actually smuggled out the secret marinade, but I promised myself I’d never give it out. And it doesn’t really matter because I still don’t have their grill. It’s all about the grill. How many ways can one man grill chicken, pork, and beef? Noho knows.

Nonna Emilia Ristorante Italiano ~ 17210 SW Shaw, Aloha, OR 97007

Phone: (503) 649-2232 or (503) 649-8531 for Take Out, http://www.nonnaemilias.com/

Talk about your famous neighborhood food joints... Nonna Emilia is PDX suburb legend. This was one of those places that was a staple in my family. Whether you swing in for their Italian lunch buffet or just want one of their monstrously delicious pizzas for dinner, Nonna's will never disappoint.

O’Connor’s ~ 7850 SW Capitol Hwy., Portland, OR 97219, Phone: (503) 244-1690
Do you like your breakfasts with a southern flair? Do you like a place that serves up a mean Bloody Mary? Me too. And this is also a great evening watering hole as they have a decent dinner menu along with stiff drinks.

Old Wive’s Tale ~ 1300 E Burnside St., Portland, OR 97214-1424, Phone: (503) 238-0470
Being a carnivore, most people find it funny that I love this place. Besides their more than creative vegetarian salad bar and menu, they also have the best Hungarian Mushroom soup I’ve ever had. I could eat it by the quart. Watch out Soup Nazi!

Original Hotcake & Steak House ~ 1002 SE Powell Blvd., Portland, OR 97202-2534
Phone: (503) 236-7402
Hung over? Feeling a little queasy? Is it late and the line at Taco Bell is just a little too long? Feel like doing some of the world’s best people watching? Well, why not stumble in to the Hotcake and Steak House and order yourself some pancakes AND hashbrowns with a little bit of sausage on the side, you know… just to soak it all up. And trust me. Everybody in there is in just as bad shape as you are. Those that are awake anyway.

Otto’s Sausage Kitchen ~ 4138 SE Woodstock Blvd., Portland, OR 97202-7663
Phone: (503) 771-6714, http://www.ottossausagekitchen.com/
It took me almost two years after starting this guide to actually get my ass to Otto's, and now I've been there twice. While driving down SE Woodstock you start to smell it... smoke... the good smoke... the smoke that has been infiltrating the tissue of some of the city's best meats all night long. And then you see it... the line. Any day of the week there is always a line outside of Otto's where hordes of fans wait for their grilled sausages, the best sausages. Just make sure you order two. Not that one won't fill you up, but you'll just drive away sad if you didn't order two.

Pacific Way Cafe ~ 601 Pacific Way, Gearhart, OR 97138, Phone: (503) 738-0245
Just north of the madness in Seaside sits a quiet little cafe in a quiet little town. While I have never risen early enough to enjoy their bakery, my mom swears by it. And I swear by the cafe next door where one of favorite sandwiches of all time can be found. This place makes memorable food. Personally, I'm a big fan of their Greek sandwich... stuffed with ham, feta, onions, kalamata's, baked in their own bread, then served open face with a plate of delicious fries. I've only ordered one other thing, which was good, but I almost came to tears missing my sandwich.

Pambiche ~ 2811 NE Glisan St., Portland, OR 97232-2433
Phone: (503) 233-0511, http://www.pambiche.com/
I don’t normally give the old triple plus sign to a place for one dish, but Pambiche’s Rabo Encendido, or Oxtail On Fire, is to date my favorite dish in P-Town. I almost said the northwest, but Kingfish Café’s catfish in Seattle still has a solid hold on my heart. The rest of Pambiche’s menu is outstanding, but I just can’t get myself to order anything other than the oxtail. Another place where the closer to opening you get, the better the luck you’ll find getting seated at this tiny little shack of flavor heaven.

Pal’s Shanty ~ 4630 NE Sandy Blvd., Portland, OR 97213-2074, Phone: (503) 288-9732
No, it’s not the best seafood on the west coast, but it’s pretty good. And when you walk into the dark and dingy hole in the wall, you expect to be pummeled by a wall of cigarette smoke, but nothing. The air is clean. A bucket of steamer clams and a bowl of chowder with a side of garlic bread should be just about right.

PBJ's Grilled ~ On the corner of NW 23rd & Kearney (Food Cart), http://pbjsgrilled.com/index.html

I was at the Bite of Oregon and a friend offered me a bite of a sandwich with peanut butter, jelly, and smoked bacon grilled on challah bread. I thought they were nuts... and then I tried it. And now I am hooked. I immediately searched out this tiny cart and asked for the Spicy Thai and things just got better. Check out their website for live updates.

Pepper's Mexican Grill ~ 976 SE Baseline, Hillsboro, OR 97123, Phone: (503) 681-8226

After a long night of bar hopping through Hillsboro (yes, it can be done), my friend Arturo introduced me to the greatest shrimp tacos on this planet. And to top it off they came with some of the best damn sauces one could imagine. Don't leave without downing a couple baskets of chips with their home made fired roasted salsa.

Philadelphia’s Steaks & Hoagies ~ 6410 SE Milwaukie Ave., Portland, OR 97202-5518
Phone: (503) 239-8544
While still reasonably tasty, this place has slumped a little bit. At one time I would have argued this to be the best sandwicharium on the planet. I can’t pinpoint what went wrong, and it’s still better than most. It’s something about their bread. Their bread is so damn soft. And from what I gather, it’s a super secret where they get the bread. So, please Philadelphia’s… get your act together.

Pho Van ~ 1919 SE 82nd Ave., Portland, OR 97216-1405
Phone: (503) 788-5244, http://phovanrestaurant.com/
While in the process of opening up other locations in any available strip mall, I’m going to stick with the original site on SE 82nd as it’s still the best. Yes, they put one in the Pearl, but who really cares about the Pearl. If you like good Pho, then this is your house of Pho. And their menu goes so much deeper than just Pho. There is one dish that is something of a sampler called Cơm Đặc Biệt that I get every time. I love Pho, but I tend to suffer from the splatter effect.

Pine State Biscuits ~ 3640 SE Belmont Street, Portland, OR 97214, Phone: (503) 236-3346,
http://www.pinestatebiscuits.com/
With a menu that seems to revolve around well made biscuits, this tiny breakfast and lunch spot makes one mean breakfast sandwich that is getting national attention. The Reggie Deluxe starts with half a biscuit set as the base. Then add a piece of fried chicken, bacon, cheddar cheese, an egg, and then topped with gravy. The sandwich is then capped with the other half of the biscuit. Calling this a sandwich is a stretch as a knife and fork are mandatory. My only complaint is that they shouldn't skimp on the gravy. I suggest you go on the off hours or bring the Harry Potter series to kill the time as you wait for a table.

Pizza Schmizza ~ (Too many locations to list. See website for a spot near you, but the one is Hillsboro is reportedly the best) http://www.schmizza.com/
What may be the Starbuck’s of the pizza world, Pizza Schmizza has seemed to either capture Portlanders, or annoyed them to no end. I personally think it’s great mid-range stuff. And if nothing else they get points for creativity. Alligator, potatoes, noodles, nacho style, schnitzel style, and just about anything else you can think of may end up on their menu. They have monthly special concoctions. But the standard Genoa is always a solid stand by.

Potato Champion ~ On the corner of SE 12th & Hawthorne Blvd. (Food Cart), http://potatochampion.com/

Like fries? Love fries? Well tough because Potato Champion serves up Belgian Style Frites. Ok, they're fries, but they are DAMN GOOD fries and available with a fantastic selection of dipping sauces. Or forget all that and go right for the Poutine loaded with cheese curds and gravy. That's right... I said gravy.

Racoon Lodge & Brew Pub ~ 7424 SW Beaverton Hillsdale., Portland, OR 97225-2149
Phone: (503) 296-0110, http://www.raclodge.com/
Do you like fries? I love ‘em. And they got ‘em… sweet potato, shoe string, steak cut, ale battered, or good ‘ol tots… and with a selection of dips too long to list here. The rest of their grub is good too. The beers are tasty as well, but if you have issues with dead animal heads staring at you while you eat you may want to go elsewhere. The past few months I have been wandering into their basement bar. It used to be a smoke den, but thanks to the ban, it now features see through air and is fantastic. Friendly bar staff and you can watch them make beer.

Roake’s ~ (One location on N. Lombard Pl. & one at SE McLoughlin Blvd.)
I have to admit, I salivated just a little as I started to write this entry. I used to hit Roake’s multiple times a week when I worked out in north Portland. It’s your standard fast food diner, but their coney’s are to die for. And they have great fries as well. I miss me some Roake’s.

Saint Cupcake ~ 1138 SW Morrison, Portland, Oregon 97205 and 3300 SE Belmont, Portland, Oregon 97124
Phone: (503) 997-3674, http://www.saintcupcake.com/
Much like the muffin top episode on Seinfeld, one stop at Saint Cupcake and you’ll be nibbling the tops of these sugary treats. Is it cake? Is it muffin? Is it… a cupcake? Damn straight. Name some of your favorite spices, fruits, and candy… well you’ll probably find it on a cupcake. Right now my favorite is the Carrot Cake Cupcake, but I’m still waiting for the pizza cupcake. Dare to dream.

Salvador Molly’s ~ 1573 SW Sunset Blvd., Portland, OR 97239
Phone: (503) 293-1790, http://salvadormollys.com/
This was my long standing favorite place in town for many years. While the menu has slipped a tad, it’s still better than most. And yes, I know there is now one somewhere on SE Belmont, but I don’t care. The SW site is my home. There’s something about Caribbean-Mexican set in a Tiki style shrine to Elvis that just has a warm, safe place in my heart. This is the only restaurant in Portland that can make food too hot for me to eat. Ask me about the night I thought I was going to die as I crawled through a patch of grass, clutching my heart trying to wave down a fire truck. I am also on their Wall of Flame… twice. And last I heard, to this day I am the only person who finished a bowl of their Rocket Pasta set to a scorching 20 out of 20.

San Felipe Taqueria ~ 6221 SE Milwaukie Ave., Portland, OR 97202, Phone: (503) 235-8158 Do you like Fish Tacos? I love Fish Tacos. And this is the place to get them. It’s not so much the fish, the shell, or other stuff. It’s the tangy sauce. Hot damn I love these fish tacos! I could eat a dozen of ‘em. I honestly haven’t tried anything else on the menu, but it all smells good. And if you feel real brave try their fish burrito.

Sizzle Pie ~ 624 E. Burnside, Portland, OR 97214, Phone: (503) 234-PIES

http://sizzlepie.com/

I gotta admit, the pizza was average... not in a bad way. It just means it's pizza. It's good enough to eat without complaints, and it's not bad. But what I LOVE about this place is the space and the sound. It's a tribute to Metal! While devouring my slices and drinking my 22 oz Ninkasi, I heard Slayer, Maiden, Priest, and a great variety of more Metal, and not just the usual songs. Maybe the third song on side B. That's how you do it.

Stanich’s ~ 4915 NE Fremont St., Portland, OR 97213, Phone: (503) 281-2322
I might as well refer you back to Helvetia Tavern. This is the other half of the legendary "Who has the best burger in town" rivalry. To me, both places are great and basically the same old school burger. Make sure you bring cash.

Swagat/Swagath ~ (Multiple locations in Beaverton, NW Portland, and Orenco in Hillsboro)
http://www.swagat-portland.com/
Just like trying to pick a favorite Thai restaurant in Portland, good Indian food is everywhere. I pick Swagat because it’s close to my work. Their lunch time buffet is unstoppable, of course you need to get their well before noon or you will be in a never ending line behind all the Intel geeks who invade the Hillsboro dining scene each lunch hour. Somebody needs to give these guys a memo telling them to take off their stupid work I.D. badges when they go out to lunch.

Syun Japanese Kitchen & Sake Club ~ 209 NE Lincoln St., Hillsboro, OR 97124-3043
Phone: (503) 640-3131, http://syunizakaya.com/
Izakaya, meaning Japanese Pub… I frequently complain about how there is nowhere good to eat in Hillsboro, but Syun is certainly a nice little break from the overwhelming lack of diversity in this hick town. The sushi’s good. The various chicken dishes are good. It’s just good. And that’s such a treat in Hillsboro. If Zagat can rank it the 12th best Japanese restaurant in America then I’d say that’s pretty damn good. And… it’s less than a block away from the back door of my office.

Thien Hong ~ 6749 NE Sandy Blvd., Portland, OR 97213-5251, Phone: (503) 281-1247
I have no doubt their whole menu is delicious, but I’m sorry. When I go to Thien Hong I get one thing… Pepper Salted Squid. Nobody does it like they do. That’s really all I can say as it’s all I’ve ever had. Sorry.

Typhoon! ~ (They’ve expanded all over so check out the website for your closest bet)
http://www.typhoonrestaurants.com/
I could have probably had three pages of Thai restaurants alone, so I thought I’d narrow it down to Typhoon!, my favorite. I’m sure there are places that could be thought of as more authentic or even better tasting, but this place does it for me. The Drunken Noodles stand out for me. I have no complaints.

Vista Springs Café ~ 2440 SW Vista Ave., Portland, OR 97201-2351, Phone: (503) 222-2811
It’s not even in my top five pizza places in town, but remember what I said... ambience can be everything. Vista Springs is hidden just above downtown in the west hills, nestled among some of Portland’s more expensive homes. It may not still be true, but I was under the impression they also owned Pizza à fetta in Cannon Beach, but that tidbit could be outdated.

Vivi's Vietnamese Noodle House ~ 1035 NE 25th Ave., Hillsboro, OR 97124,

Phone: (503) 648-2300, http://vivisnoodlehouse.com/

First of all, let's set the record straight. It's pronounced "fu", as in "fun times". It's not "fo" as in "fee fi fo fum." Secondly, what is the the best Pho house doing in Hillsboro? Seriously? There's hardly anyplace worth eating at in Hillsboro. And how the Hell did I even stumble on Vivi's? It's tucked away in a little tiny house that sits behind the mall where Burgerville is. That's the only way to remind people which place you're talking about. The food is delicious with a menu loaded of old family recipes. The meats are trimmed well with little to no fat, unless it's supposed to. But get there early. This place fills up fast at lunch and the parking lot is tiny.

Voodoo Doughnut ~ 22 SW Third Ave., Portland, OR 97204-2713
Phone: (503) 241-4704, Voodoo 2 now at 1501 N.E. Davis, Portland, OR,
Phone: 503-235-2666, http://voodoodoughnut.com/
If I had to guess, I would say that Cat Daddy and Tres Shannon found an old utility room on the backside of Berbati’s Pan and thought, “hey, what a great place to open an alternative donut shop!” And what do I do, as the writer, about trying to find the right category to place this one of a kind experience? Well, as I have learned, one doughnut can fill you up. So I guess that’s a meal. This is also the only food entry where I specifically am telling you to go to the website to take a look for yourself. I have to recommend the Bacon Maple Bar, although the Cock & Balls is pretty scrumptious as well. If you’re planning on getting married, you might as well do it here while chomping down on a maple bar drizzled with peanut butter.

Whiffies Fried Pies ~ The corner of SE 12th & Hawthorne Blvd. (Food Cart), http://whiffies.com/

Remember going into McDonald's as a kid and getting one of those apple turnovers? Now imagine one of those, but delicious, and full of different fillings such as peanut butter cream, or mixed berries, lemon, or chocolate. But wait, there's more... how about BBQ brisket, chicken pot pie, or kahlua pork. Oh yeah... they have all that too as the menu rotates day to day.

Suds & Sounds

2007-12-02T11:30:00.000-08:00

The Aladdin Theater ~ 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., Portland, OR 97202
Phone: (503) 234-9694, http://www.aladdin-theater.com/
As a music lover I have to say that the Aladdin Theater is my favorite venue for live music. I could only imagine how great it would be to perform here as a musician. Ok, so it was once an old porn theater where Deep Throat played for years, but the acoustics are great. It’s small, so there isn’t a bad seat in the place. And it just looks nice. They draw in a very diverse group of acts from the diverse to the legendary. It’s first come first serve seating. And it may be the last venue left in Portland that doesn’t seem to attract those A-holes who feel it is very necessary to talk in the middle of a song. This is where music lovers come to see and hear music.

The Alibi Restaurant & Lounge ~ 4024 N Interstate Ave., Portland, OR 97227-1071
Phone: (503) 287-5335
The last of the great Tiki Lounges… and perhaps the best place in town to go watch Karaoke. Not that I am into performing Karaoke, or even watching it at other locations, but there is something about the Alibi that draws in the funniest of Portland. Just be sure you don’t walk into the Alibi during daylight hours or you may just walk right into a wall. It has to be the darkest room in Portland. The eyes just don’t adjust right away.

Amnesia Brewing ~ 832 N Beech St., Portland, OR 97227, Phone: (503) 281-7708
Another brewpub amongst the masses. I had heard a lot about their beers, but had never made it out to the location, nor tried any of their beers when poured on host taps at other establishments. When I first walked into the place, which looks like an airplane hangar from the outside, I was mildly impressed. It's homey, somewhat small, and appears to have many loyal neighborhood regulars. The menu consists of sausages and burgers that appear to be grilled on an outdoor barbecue. The beers are delicious, but beware... a pitcher of their seasonal will run you $16. That is flat out highway robbery, considering right now, most decent microbreweries aren't charging more than $12-13, regardless if it's a seasonal or not. And this was the winter brew, meaning it was most likely brewed months ago as the spring seasonal beers are already hitting the shelves.

Ash Street Saloon ~ 225 SW Ash St., Portland, OR 97204
Phone: (503) 226-0430, http://www.ashstreetsaloon.com/
Put simply, the Ash Street brings the rock. This club is all about decibels and ringing ears. It was once my favorite club to see rock bands, but when they installed the new sound system, it was just a bit much. It’s still great… just make sure you have ear plugs.

Bailey's Taproom ~ 213 SW Broadway, Portland, OR 97205, Phone: (503) 295-1004

http://www.baileystaproom.com/

Another alehouse with an ongoing rotation of some of the finer craft beers. The oddly shaped space comes across as industrial inside, but if you can find some seats it's a comfy stop to explore some of the good stuff.

Basement Pub ~ 1028 SE 12th Ave., Portland, OR 97214, Phone: (503) 231-6068

http://www.basementpub.com/

I thought maybe the name was just a theme, but as soon as you walk into this near cave you'll understand. While it looks more like a converted garage than basement, the room is small, simple, and it works. One man stands behind a bar slinging out beverages while the customers rotate through the line. Due to the weather, I didn't get an opportunity to check out what may have been a patio in the back.

The Beer Mongers ~ 1125 SE Division, Portland, Oregon 97202, Phone: (503) 234-6012

http://www.thebeermongers.com/

Keeping up with the drinkable beer store trend in Portland is The Beer Mongers on the corner of SE 12th & Division. With a handful of rotating taps, a few fridges packed with the good stuff, and a few tables to taste your purchase, TBM looks like a makeshift haven for those with the passion.

Belmont Station ~ 4500 SE Stark St., Portland, OR 97215, Phone: (503) 232-8538

http://www.belmont-station.com/

Beer lovers of Portland unite! The Holy land has been discovered. This place not only sells just about every beer ever bottled or canned, but it also has a Biercafe next door where you can either pay a small fee to drink your find, or order a pint from a rotating tap list of some of America's best craft beers. Keep Portland Beered!

Beulahland ~ 118 NE 28th Ave., Portland, OR 97232
Phone: (503) 235-2794, http://www.beulahlandpdx.com/
Whenever I’m near 29th & Burnside, I usually make a pit stop at this not-so-divey tavern. While Beulahland may seem like a dive, it’s actually a pretty unique place. They have a great selection of beers, play killer music, and you sort of feel like an incognito rock star sitting amongst those who may have just come in before or after their big gig that night.

The Bitter End Pub ~ 1981 W Burnside St., Portland, OR 97209-1918
Phone: (971) 222-2000, http://www.thebitterendpub.com/
Sitting across the street from Portland’s only baseball/soccer/football stadium, PGE Park, the Bitter End is a great place to drop a few pints before the big game, or better yet… skip the game and stick around for whoever is playing on the stage that night. You may get a hint of British pub on you, but that’s ok.

Buffalo Gap Saloon & Eatery ~ 6835 SW Macadam Ave., Portland, OR 97219
Phone: (503) 244-7111, http://www.thebuffalogap.com/
Well, you knew this was going to make the list. Had I never heard of the Buffalo Gap and just happened to wander in, it would easily shoot in to my top five places to hang. And again, how do you categorize the Buffalo Gap? Is it a bar? A tavern? A restaurant? A music club? A pool hall? A sports bar? I don’t know. It’s a Tabaurantspoolsic. My personal faves… anything for breakfast, fish & chips, the chili, the nachos, and the burgers. And I hear the Reuben is famous.

Burnside Brewing Co. ~ 701 E. Burnside, Portland, Or 97214, Phone: (503) 946-8151

http://www.burnsidebrewco.com/

This medium sized room sort of reminded me of sitting in an art gallery. While I didn't try much in the way of food, I have to say the menu looked impressive, but maybe a tad expensive for a brewpub. But, I tried both their house made beers and was impressed. They also appeared to have a decent sized guest tap list.

Coalition Brewing Co. ~ 9724 SE Ankeny, Portland, OR 97214, Phone: (503) 894-8080

http://www.coalitionbrewing.com/pub.php

This was a fun find. Perhaps one of Portland's smallest beer drinking rooms. Get ready to drink some fine beers in a cozy environment.

Columbia River Brewing Co. ~ 1728 NE 40th Ave., Portland, OR 97212

Phone: (503) 943-6157, http://www.columbiariverbrewpub.com/

Sure, Portland has a lot of beer establishments, breweries, alehouses and what have you, but if you want to go somewhere where the beers are designed to honor their very style, this is the place for you. Each recipe has been tried and tested over and over until finally meeting the personal standards of Brewmaster and Owner Rick Burkhardt. Rick has been brewing beer for 30 years and seems to have a passion for tradition. And the food was pretty tasty as well.

County Cork ~ 1329 NE Fremont St., Portland, OR 97212-2218, Phone: (503) 284-4805
If my pickled memory serves me right, I do believe this slice of Ireland was once located on SE Hawthorne, but I am not certain if it’s the same people. Anyway, when you walk into this classic Irish pub you’ll feel the Irish rubbing off on you at every turn. Whether it’s their Irish cuisine, the Irish music, the Irish look, the Irish Irish Irish… Yes, it’s an Irish pub.

Crystal Ballroom ~ 1332 W Burnside St., Portland, OR 97209
Phone: (503) 225-0047, http://www.mcmenamins.com/index.php?loc=2&id=504
Who doesn’t like to bounce? Well, if you go see a band at the Crystal you will bounce. How many venues have a floating dance floor? Yes, floating. Not only is this large music hall elegant and acoustically pleasant, but the floor feels like it’s loaded with springs. Try to stay still. I dare you. And one floor down from the music hall is Lola’s room. A very smoky sister bar that also has DJ’s and smaller music acts. And on the ground floor is Ringler’s, the only see and be seen branch of the McMenamin’s empire. The only downfall to the Crystal... if you are a grown adult and opt to attend an all ages show, you will be banished to the side of the room and roped off if you want to drink a beer while watching the show. I know… it only makes sense to cater to the needs of unemployed minors.

Dante’s ~ 1 SW Third Ave., Portland, OR 97204
Phone: (503) 226-6630, http://www.danteslive.com/
The first time I stepped in to Dante’s I swore I would never go back. It was small, cramped, and flat out violent. I witnessed at least five fights in the span of an hour. I don’t know… blame it on the plastering of the color red from top to bottom and wall to wall. But Dante’s has grown. They’ve expanded, and added a little more black to the color scheme. It’s now one of the better small music clubs in Portland. And for its size, Dante’s brings in an impressive line up of national talent, as well as local favorites such as the queen of hotness herself, Storm Large and her Balls... a former Dante’s bartender.

Doug Fir Restaurant & Bar Lounge ~ 830 E Burnside St., Portland, OR 97214-1221
Phone: (503) 231-9663, http://www.dougfirlounge.com/
While not a big fan of their upstairs bar and restaurant, due simply to the trendy factor, I am a big fan of their basement music venue. This tiny room attracts some incredible international talent. And whoever designed this room made it very audience friendly.

GoodFoot Pub & Lounge ~ 2845 SE Stark St., Portland, OR 97214
Phone: (503) 239-9292, http://www.thegoodfoot.com/
So, you think you can break dance? Well, head down to the GoodFoot on any Friday and give it a shot. Unless you can keep up with the kids in Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, you’ll be eaten up. The upstairs is lined with pool tables and people chilling out. The basement features live music and DJ’s playing the most diverse mix of music I’ve heard in a club, but has a serious hold on the Funk.

Goose Hollow Inn ~ 1927 SW Jefferson St., Portland, OR 97201-2405
Phone: (503) 228-7010, http://goosehollowinn.com/
Another great mystery to me is how it took me so long to get my butt to the Goose Hollow. It’s only one of Portland’s legendary taverns ya know. And it has immense significance to the history of Portland as it’s owner, Bud Clark, was once the quirky mayor of Portland who taught us all to expose ourselves to art by flashing a downtown statue. And I have to admit it… they do have the best Reuben sandwich in town. Sorry Dad. Oh yeah, and be sure to check out their newer location down at the coast in Seaside.

The Green Dragon ~ 928 SE 9th Ave. Portland, OR 97214,
Phone: (503) 517-0660, http://www.pdxgreendragon.com/
With an huge array of taps in non-stop rotation, you never know what beer treats will be available when walking into the Green Dragon. Ok, I lie... if you're connected to the web, you can always go online and look at the 24-hour webcam that shows their beer list. This seems to be the kind of place where the people who are serious about their beer go, and therefore I shall go, too.

Hair Of The Dog Brewing Co. ~ 61 SE Yamhill St., Portland, OR 97214

Phone: (503) 232-6585, http://www.hairofthedog.com/

I don't even know how to describe the excitement I feel when I drink these beers. It is truly about as good as it can get for those who have developed an advanced palette for the finer craft brews. That isn't a comment of snobbery, it simply means these beers are complex, advanced, strong, and an entire world away from your simple IPA or Hefeweizen. So beware. Now in new digs with tables, chairs, a bar, and small kitchen you can get the whole experience. I LOVE this place.

Hawthorne Theater ~ 3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Portland, OR 97214
Phone: (503) 233-7100, http://hawthornetheatre.com/
I don’t know whether to congratulate the owners or wish them luck. The Hawthorne Theater sits in a spot that has changed hands more times than O.J.’s glove. But, it looks like somebody may have finally figured out the trick to this cursed building. While it’s predominantly a hard rock club, I see their listings sport a little variety now and then. I hope it works out because it’s not half bad.

The Hop & Vine ~ 1914 N Killingsworth, Portland, Oregon 97217, Phone: (503) 954-3322

http://www.thehopandvine.com/

Simply put, it's all about liquid refreshment. Try a beer on tap, a glass of wine, or a cocktail... or buy one of your favorite beers or wine. But what got me was the aroma of some sort of deliciously baked cheese coming from the back room. I must go back to find out what that was.

Hopworks Urban Brewery ~ 2944 SE Powell Blvd., Portland, OR 97202

Phone: (503) 232-4677, http://www.hopworksbeer.com/

Mmmm, more beer. Hopworks, or HUB, is one of the newer additions into Portland's beer culture. They claim that all their beer is organic and that they try to run as green as possible. Heavy in bicycle theme, HUB is a comfortable place for any beer lover. The food is decent. My only complaint... when can I go and actually find a seat? This place is always packed, so be prepared.

Horse Brass Pub ~ 4534 SE Belmont St., Portland, OR 97215-1687
Phone: (503) 232-2202, http://horsebrass.com/
With the smoking ban in place, this British watering hole is much more tolerable. I know old patrons and the owner aren't happy about the ban, but it sure has been nice to drink a beer without involuntarily taking in a pack of Marlboros. This place serves a mean Scotch Egg, are famous for their darts, and have a great selection of beers.

Jimmy Mak’s ~ 221 NW 10th Ave., Portland, OR 97209
Phone: (503) 295-6542, http://www.jimmymaks.com/
Admittedly, I have only been in this cooler than cool jazzy blues club once. But it was one of those nights that has stuck with me, so I’m fairly sure I’m going back. Local legend, Mel Brown seems to be the house musician as he has various groupings of local jazz gods on stage with him on any given night.

Kay’s Bar ~ 6903 SE Milwaukie Ave., Portland, OR 97202-5716
Phone: (503) 232-4447, http://www.kaysbar.com/
Under new ownership this past year, Kay’s has had some minor changes take place for the better. The menu seems to be making at an attempt at being taken seriously. And they attract some decent music acts that squeeze in by the front door. Kay’s has all the makings for achieving legendary status if they continue to play their cards right.

Kell’s Irish Restaurant & Pub ~ 112 SW Second Ave., Portland, OR 97204-3507
Phone: (503) 227-4057, http://kellsirish.com/
I’ve never been to a pub in Ireland, but I still have my doubts that Kell’s resembles anything close to a real Irish pub. And if you can get past the fact that it turns into a meat market after 10:00, Kell’s is an ok place to hang out. They do have outstanding fish & chips. They have their little gimmick where they throw dollar bills onto the ceiling and they stick until the annual scraping where all the money goes to charity. And yes, Kell’s has the largest St. Patrick’s Day celebration west of the Mississippi River. But, I’ve also witnessed them screw this event up a little more each year.

Kingston Bar & Grill ~ 2021 SW Morrison St., Portland, OR 97205, Phone: (503) 224-2115
There’s nothing spectacular about the Kingston other than it’s always packed at the bar and it’s close to PGE Park for pre and post game celebrating. Most of their menu seems to come from a frozen plastic pouch. But when you’ve had, perhaps, half a glass of beer too many at the baseball game, it’s good to get something greasy in the system. And that is why we have the Kingston.

Laurelthirst Public House ~ 2958 NE Glisan St., Portland, OR 97232-3271
Phone: (503) 232-1504, http://www.myspace.com/laurelthirstpublichouse
Whenever I feel like a little bluegrass or roots music, I know exactly where I can get my fix without wondering about the line up. Yes, it’s crammed tight each night, but the Laurelthirst will meet all your organic stringed instrumentation needs. You won’t have to deal with any subwoofers or sampled dance hits. This is the home of guitar, banjo, fiddle, and mandolin music.

Laurelwood Brewing Company ~
(Now in multiple locations, so please refer to their website) http://www.laurelwoodbrewpub.com/
I’m proud of Portland and its reigning title of most brewpubs per capita in America, much like strip bars I suppose, but the Laurelwood hasn’t exactly caught my heart. They make fine brews and their food is pretty tasty, but they are also exacerbating the current problem I find with most taverns and pubs these days. Since when should a drinking establishment be kid friendly? That’s all I’ll say, and will also add that Laurelwood certainly isn’t the only guilty party here. They just seem to be the most over the top with the whole matter. I swear, children have become the new dogs of Portland. Everybody has one and they just take them everywhere.

Low Brow Lounge ~ 1036 NW Hoyt St., Portland, OR 97209-3212, Phone: (503) 226-0200
The saving grace of the Pearl District... perhaps the only establishment in the Pearl you can step foot into and not worry about what type of shoes you’re wearing or if you know the secret handshake. It’s dark. It's REALLY dark. And it’s so not hip, it’s hip.

The Lucky Labrador Brewing Company ~ (See website for multiple haunts)
http://luckylab.com/
I love this place. And I love all three locations. Where else can you sit outside, drink a beer, and have a pack of dogs running around your feet? Their beers are delicious, the rye beers in particular. The food is mediocre and I rarely eat there, but many swear by their bento. I’m still leaning toward the SE Hawthorne location as my favorite, but the other two have their perks as well. And this is the place to get a keg for your party as they have a wide selection of their brews in three different sizes of keg.

Max's Fanno Creek Brew Pub ~ 12562 SW Main St., Tigard, OR 97223,

Phone: (503) 624-9400, http://www.fannocreekbrewpub.com/

I kept hearing the name, and for some reason it went in one ear and out the other. After committing this place to a recent Beerxploration & Beer Tasting. I was impressed. It's a simple space with plenty of room. The beers were tasty, the staff friendly, and the menu had the usual attractions. And $5 T-shirts!?!?!?!

McMenamins ~ (Way too many locations too list here. See website)
http://www.mcmenamins.com/
What McDonald’s is to fast food, McMenamins is to brewpubs. Over the past couple of decades the McMenamin brothers have pioneered the microbrewery scene in Portland. Starting in 1983 with The Barley Mill, they have expanded to fifty five locations and counting. The menus are almost universal with mediocre but acceptable food, above average but not the best beers (I recommend the Rubinator, hint… it’s not on the menu), and a sort of hippy heavy vibe to most spots. The particular locations that stand out for me are… The Rock Creek Tavern, The Cornelius Pass Roadhouse, The Grand Lodge (The Yard House outside), and The White Eagle (the oldest tavern in Portland). They are famous for taking old unique structures and restoring them into the McMenaminesque theme. And I’ll get to it in a little more detail later, but they have nearly perfected the Theater Pub concept in Portland. Grab a beer and watch a flick.

Migration Brewing ~ 2828 NE Glisan St., Portland, OR 97232, Phone: (503) 206-5221

http://www.migrationbrewing.com/

One of the newer brewpubs to join the mighty ranks of Beer City, Migration Brewing seems to be off to the right start. I have to admit, I've been there twice now and they have not had their own beer ready to pour, but... their rotating taps feature some of the best beers around, the menu looks a tad better than average, and the hollowed out former auto garage is a nice setting with indoor and outdoor space.

The Mississippi Pizza Pub ~ 3552 North Mississippi Ave., Portland, Oregon, 97227

Phone: (503) 288-3231, http://www.mississippipizza.com/
Set amongst the latest up and coming PDX neighborhood, Mississippi Pizza Pub seems to have a little bit for everybody. When you walk in, it appears to be your every day neighborhood pizzeria. But explore further back and you will find a bigger room for live music, and a back area bar where folks can escape the live music and talk. While I didn't try any of the pizza, it did look and smell delicious. And the lines tell me that this place is obviously doing something right.

Mississippi Studios ~ 3939 N. Mississippi Ave., Portland, Oregon 97227

Phone: (503) 288-3895, http://www.mississippistudios.com/

Perhaps the best small music venue in town. The room seemed to be designed by musicians for musicians, as it should be. There's a bar and they might even have food, but all I care about is the great acts this place draws in and the tiny room where some of the best acts want to play.

Moon & Sixpence ~ 2014 NE 42nd Ave., Portland, OR 97213, Phone: (503) 288-7802

In my humble opinion, one can never have enough British bars. With plenty of rotating taps, a great patio, and live music Moon & Sixpence will convince most to just get comfortable and stick around for the evening.

The New Old Lompoc ~ 1616 NW 23rd Ave., Portland, OR 97210
Phone: (503) 225-1855, http://newoldlompoc.com/
While the folks who brought us the Lompoc have now opened up three more locations, I am sticking to the one and only Lompoc. Where will you find me on a Friday nine times out of ten? At the Lompoc. Not only do they have the greatest backyard patio covered in grapes and hops, but they also make the best beers in town. The food is hit or miss, so I will simply recommend the Calamari. And for a bar that allows smoking in most of the bar, they have great ventilation.

Ninkasi Brewing Company ~ 272 Van Buren St., Eugene, OR 97402, Phone: (541) 344-2739

http://www.ninkasibrewing.com/contact/

Sure it's in Eugene, but c'mon... Ninkasi is making some of the best beers in the State, not to mention the country. AND... the have a great tasting patio where you can partake in the deliciousness. So make the hour and half trip south. You won't regret it.

The Old Market Pub & Brewery ~ 6959 SW Multnomah Blvd Ste 101., Portland, OR 97223 Phone: (503) 452-2837, http://www.drinkbeerhere.com/
Once known as Camella’s Produce, this overly large pub is full of televisions, pool tables and other parlor games, and pours mediocre to tasty beers. Their food has fizzled a bit as they once had the best personal sized pepperoni pizza on Earth. You will always be guaranteed a table and I have to admit that the service has finally picked up as they were more famous for slow service than the folks at McMenamins.

Oregon Zoo Amphitheater ~ 4001 SW Canyon Rd., Portland, OR 97221-2705
Phone: (503) 226-1561, http://www.oregonzoo.org/Events/main.htm
I bet you weren’t expecting to see the zoo listed here, eh? But it’s true. The zoo has one of the best sites in town for live music. And at least half of the shows I’ve been to a peacock came out and unexpectedly flew up to the top of the roof of the stage overhang and let out that peacock howl. It freaked out Lyle Lovett pretty good.

Paddy’s Bar & Grill ~ 65 SW Yamhill St., Portland, OR 97204-3329
Phone: (503) 224-5626, http://paddys.com/default.aspx
Portland is loaded with “Irish” bars. I’ve never understood the “Irish” connection with this one, but it’s a fun place to hang out and grab a drink with friends. They do have some great outdoor seating where the bums can approach you while you’re leaving your tip.

Produce Row Café ~ 204 SE Oak St., Portland, OR 97214-1087, Phone: (503) 232-8355
I don’t know the full story here, but it is my understanding that this place was once owned by the McMenamin brothers and then sold off. The menu is nearly identical to a McMen’s menu and the vibe is familiar. But where they excel is their music line ups as they host some of the best acoustic rock in town.

Prost ~ 4237 N. Mississippi, Portland, OR 97210, http://www.prostportland.com/

Sure, Portland has The Rheinlander/Gustav's, and the Widmer Gasthaus, but now we have Prost!. This place is brand spanking new on the mighty Mississippi. It's a tiny place with a big attitude. While I didn't get a chance to sample any of the German food I saw cranking out of the kitchen, I did get a chance to drink beer... a lot of beer... a lot of German beer served in massive mugs. As a matter of fact, all you can get there is German beer. No Widmer, Deschutes, Sierra Nevada... this stuff is all the old school stuff that inspired the great craft brewing movement in Oregon and America. And like I said... they have BIG mugs.

A Roadside Attraction ~ 1000 SE 12th Ave., Portland, OR 97214

Phone: (503) 233-0743
I am pleased to announce my new favorite bar in Portland. And I can’t even specifically tell you why other than the fact that they have the coolest patio in town. They also feature rotating beer taps so you never really know what they’ll have on hand when you get there. The owners describe it as a work in progress, and that’s exactly what it looks like. Please remember that you need to keep your eyes open when looking for it as it is buried behind a wall of grape vines.

Rogue Ales Public House ~ 1339 NW Flanders St., Portland, OR 97209-2619
Phone: (503) 222-5910, http://www.rogue.com/locations-portland.html
Just a little bit of a warning here… while the service is just fine, you really need to know and respect your beers at this place. Rogue Brewing are the beer snobs of the northwest, and I respect that. They make outstanding beers and have a rabid following. So, when you go here, come well armed with knowledge, or maybe just playing stupid will garner enough sympathy points that they will be kind. And if you join the club you’ll get a free beer on your birthday.

Rose & Thistle ~ 2314 NE Broadway., Portland, OR 97232, Phone: (503) 287-8582

I would be willing to bet that this is the only place in town where you can get Haggis in any form. If I’m wrong, I’d love to know about it. This Scottish bar has a great menu, including their plank style Fish & Chips. It can get a tad smoky in the bar area, but it’s a very regular hang and I probably run into familiar faces at least half the time I’m there.

Roseland Theater ~ 8 NW Sixth Ave., Portland, OR 97201
Phone: (503) 224-2038, http://www.doubletee.com/
Before I share my dream, I just want to state with great emphasis that I have no intention to contribute to the burning of this venue, nor do I wish for any harm to come to anybody who might be burned in a fire at this venue. All I am saying is that the best thing that could happen to the Roseland Theater is that a fire or an earthquake, which would harm nobody, could come through and take the place down… simply so the owners could rebuild it into a venue that actually works and is audience friendly. I hate this place… but… they continually get incredible acts over and over, often leaving me with little choice as to where to go. Again… being a grown adult should not be a reason to be banished to the crappy balcony at all ages shows if I want to have a beer. And get some air conditioning in there will ya, as well as put some duct tape on half the people in there so they’ll shut their holes during the performances. Thank you.

Saraveza ~ 1004 N. Killingsworth St., Portland, OR 97217, Phone: (503) 206-4252

http://www.saraveza.com/

I swear the following in true... I walk into Saraveza with my favorite drinking buddy. I am instantly hit with something... a feeling... a gut feeling. "When you walk into this place, where do you think of," I asked.

"Texas."

"Where do you see Texas? This is Wisconsin."

And as I looked around even more, I realized this place is a Green Bay Packer backer bar, and it did look like Wisconsin. The small beer shop/pub is decorated with ancient beer relics. There are multiple refrigerators where you can grab a beer of your choice to drink, or saddle up to the bar for a small assortment of rotating taps. They even had Hamm's on tap for... well, anybody who still drinks Hamm's I suppose.

Scooter McQuades ~ 1321 SW Washington St., Portland, OR 97205, Phone: (503) 248-4060

Let's face it, Scooters isn't the kind of bar I would make my destination. But... it's the perfect hang to prefunk before a show at the Crystal Ballroom. It's a little Punk mixed with a little frat boy. But, they have good beer and are literally around the corner from the Crystal. Just be prepared to deal with all the recovering addicts sitting outside the treatment center as they smoke away... right between Scooters and Cassidy's. Nice place for a rehab center, eh.

Shanghai Tunnel ~ 211 SW Ankeny St., Portland, OR 97204-2706, Phone: (503) 220-4001
Surviving off the hype of Portland’s recently exploited history, the Shanghai Tunnel bar is essentially a bar underneath Berbati’s Pan. It’s loud, dark… and really cool.

Skyline Tavern ~ 8031 NW Skyline Blvd., Portland, OR 97229-1213, Phone: (503) 286-4788
Grab your favorite piece of meat and head for the hills to the Skyline Tavern. Equipped with a giant outdoor grill for it’s patrons to cook their own meat, this picturesque watering hole is a destination location. Once you’re settled into your seat for the night you will not want to leave as the sun sets and you sit above the horizon.

Someday Lounge ~ 125 NW 5th AvePortland, OR 97209
Phone: (503) 708-0851, http://www.somedaylounge.com/
This was a surprise. I had heard the name come and go from time to time, and then the folks from Get Mortified showed up and I had to go. It's a long and narrow room with a couch filled balcony area. The menu was vegetarian, which doesn't do much for me, but I still enjoyed the overall vibe. I'm looking forward to the next Mortified event.

Space Room Lounge ~ 4800 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Portland, OR 97215-3252
Phone: (503) 235-6957
Historically, this was the smokiest bar in town. Considering how tiny the room was, you could actually NOT see from one wall to the other. And it was always packed. I haven't ventured in to see how the atmosphere has held up since the smoking ban. I'm sure the black lighting messes with your head still, but the stiff drinks can be well worth it. And who else has a giant painting of Mt. Hood on their walls?

Spints Alehouse ~ 401 NE 28th Ave., Portland, OR 97232, Phone: (503) 847-2534

http://www.spintspdx.com/

Perhaps a little fancier than my usual taste for a place to imbibe, Spints is a fine stopping place when in the fine neighborhood surrounding NE 28th. The have a great selection of beers, seem to know what they are doing with wine, and had a some of the nicer selections of spirits on hand. The room had a bit of a European feel to me, and should this place take off, I'm guessing it will draw the foofoo crowd. But that's ok. Any place that serves razor clams is alright by me.

Thatch Tiki Bar ~ 2733 NE Broadway., Portland, OR 97232, Phone: (503) 281-8454
Blink and you’ll miss it. This tiny little Tiki bar is tucked away in a narrow little cavern. I didn’t try the food, but was told it was quite edible. With only one row of booths and a row of bar stools, you’ll be lucky if you can get in. It’s even got a pond with running water inside.

Tugboat Brewing Company ~ 711 SW Ankeny St., Portland, OR 97205-3703
Phone: (503) 226-2508, http://www.d2m.com/Tugwebsite
Welcome to the little brewery that could. Tugboat Brewing calls itself the oldest brewpub in Portland, and I even once heard they are the smallest, but who knows? The beers are top notch. The atmosphere is cozy. Just don’t get stuck in there on a day when the A/C goes out.

Twilight Room ~ 5242 N Lombard St., Portland, OR 97203-4326, Phone: (503) 283-5091
There are a few good reasons to travel to north Portland. The T Room is one of them. Why? Well the T Burger of course. And they do have an active mix of college students and St. John’s drunks. Stir in a little bit of live bands trying to perform without a stage and you have a real live circus.

Upright Brewing ~ 240 N. Broadway, Suite 2, Portland, OR 97227, Phone: (503) 735-5337

http://www.uprightbrewing.com/

Situated in the basement of the Leftbank Building, you may go on a little adventure the first time visiting Upright, but once you find it you'll be at ease sipping on some the craftier brewed beers in Portland. The tasting room sits within the brewery itself. Your host(ess) will have some classic LP's spinning on the old record player as you grab a pint or a tasting flight of whatever they have at the time.

Wanker’s Corner Saloon & Café ~ 8499 SW Main St., Wilsonville, OR 97070-6612
Phone: (503) 682-9673, http://wankerscorner.com/
One of the worst days for Portland area tavern hoppers was the day Wanker’s Corner was forced to leave its infamous digs. Out in the middle of nowhere for all to flock, Wanker’s is now wedged in a strip mall in Wilsonville. I think they’ve done as good of a job as could be expected considering the circumstances, but it certainly isn’t the same as days of old. I could give an honorary mention to the bar that tried to take its place, but it seems pretty obvious that somebody is trying to ride on some coattails.

Widmer Gasthaus ~ 955 N Russell St., Portland, OR 97227-1733
Phone: (503) 281-3333, http://www.widmer.com/
If it weren’t for Widmer Beer, there may have never been a microbrew explosion in Portland, which means in the entire US of A. Widmer Hefeweizen was one of the first microbrews that took hold of our taste buds. And now they have expanded into a small empire of good taste. And they even opened up a little German restaurant that actually has pretty decent food. I was impressed with their Oktoberfest celebration as well.

Wonder Ballroom ~ 128 NE Russell St., Portland, OR 97212
Phone: (503) 284-8686, http://wonderballroom.com/
One of the newer music venues on the scene, the Wonder Ballroom has done it right. Set in what looks like an old grade school gymnasium, or some sort of perverted church, the WB has put together a pretty cool space to watch bands. Perhaps the only downfall is putting the bar up in the balcony which makes getting back and forth a little troublesome.

Yukon Tavern ~ 5819 SE Milwaukie Ave., Portland, OR 97202-5255, Phone: (503) 235-6352
Once ruled by the iron fist of old lady Vivian, you had to make damn sure you didn’t trip over the crumpled up carpet as you stepped in. One false step and Vivian would cut you off and send you on your way for the night. Vivian’s long gone now, but her spirit remains at this micro sports bar.

Check It

2007-12-02T11:29:00.002-08:00

24 Hour Church of Elvis - 408 NW Couch St., Portland, Or 97209,
http://www.24hourchurchofelvis.com/
It's simply legendary. Now in a new location after years of hiatus. Be sure to check out a Portland fixture.

Barfly ~ http://www.barflymag.com/
Nobody has a stronger sense of cool than Miss Jen Lane, founder of Barflymag.com. Barfly not only puts out a little table top guide to Portland’s drinking environment, but there is also the companion website to go along with it. And every couple months or so Barfly puts together a themed pub crawl where hordes of people gather on as many as eight school busses and are swept away to a series of bars that will leave you googlie eyed and confused afterward.

Bar Trivia ~ http://www.myspace.com/triviajockshanrock
Bar trivia is becoming quite the thing for those off nights when bars struggle to find a crowd. The above link is just one of many groups around town running nightly hijinx. It just so happens that I know the lady running this particular operation and she’s a kick in the pants.

Bishops Barbershop ~ Various locations, http://www.bishopsbs.com/
Can't figure out a new do? Wanna look hip? How about a beer while you get clipped? I had heard of and seen Bishops over the years, but was always a little intimidated. Once they opened one up in the SW Burbs I strolled in and was quite please with the outcome.

NE Broadway ~
Once overshadowed by Lloyd Center, NE Broadway has finally found its own identity and is full of great restaurants, bars, and locally owned shops. Some of my favorite stops are along this mile long strip… Rose & Thistle, Thatch, Blind Onion Pizza, Cadillac Café, and many more.

Council Crest Park ~ SW Council Crest Dr., Portland, OR 97201
Phone: (503) 823-2223
Wanna spectacular view of the city? Bring along a picnic basket and take in the 360 degree view of Portland and its surroundings. And if you stand in the middle of the brick circle at the top you’ll experience the coolest echo chamber in town.
Update 8/5/08: The sad part is all those surrounding trees have grown and now block the majority of the view. I'm all for trees, but this may be one of those rare occasions where I think maybe we should cut down some trees.

Farmer’s Markets ~ http://www.oregonfarmersmarkets.org/
These things are everywhere nowadays. But, the biggest to my knowledge is still one of the originals in Beaverton. Fruits, veggies, flowers, plants, kettle corn, and all sorts of home cooked goodies fill the streets in just about every neighborhood in the Portland area these days. They generally run from mid-spring until early fall.

First Thursday ~ http://www.firstthursdayportland.com/
What started out as an attempt to get Portlander’s engaged in the art scene in Portland has grown into a monthly celebration of the arts and just city life in general. Bars and restaurants have jumped on board. Street artists have found their way to the curbs, often stealing the thunder right out from under the galleries that started the whole movement.

Forest Park ~
http://www.portlandonline.com/parks/finder/index.cfm?PropertyID=127&action=ViewPark
Known as the largest city park in the country, Forest Park is home to joggers, hikers, bikers, and outdoor lovers throughout the city. Claiming up to 40 miles of trails on 5,100 acres of woodland, one could literally get lost on the outskirts of this city.

Gabriel Park ~ SW 45th Ave and Vermont St., Portland, OR 97219-1020
Phone: (503) 823-7529,
http://www.portlandonline.com/parks/finder/index.cfm?PropertyID=136&action=ViewPark
My personal favorite park in Portland, and not just because I had my kindergarten graduation here. It has a great dog park, numerous trails going in and out of the woods, volleyball and tennis courts, and just a lot of grass.

Grand Central Bowl ~ 839 SE Morrison St., Portland, OR, 97214, Phone: (503) 236-2695
http://thegrandcentralbowl.com/grand_central
I was a bit skeptical when I first heard of the "upscale" bowling alley. Bowling should be anything but upscale. That just takes away from the whole spirit of bowling, but I have to admit the place was pretty cool. While I was there for another event, and didn't actually get to bowl, I could only imagine the experience might be worth a frame or two.

Ground Kontrol ~ 511 NW Couch St.Portland, OR 97209
phone: (503)796-9364, http://www.groundkontrol.com/
Pac Man? Asteroids? Missile Command? Yes, long before Wii, X Box 360, and Playstation, yet somewhere after Pong was a world of $.25 video games where kids actually had to ride their bikes to the local 7-11 or pizza shack to play their favorite video games. Ground Kontrol has them all, and they still cost just a quarter. I was amazed at the selection. I felt like I was shot back to grade school. And if video games are quite your thing, how about some old school pinball?

Hawthorne District ~
Loaded with numerous shops, cafés, and bars, this neo-hippie chunk of southeast Portland has been an extremely popular spot to spend a weekend day. Get a hair cut at Bishop’s, buy a book at Powell’s (the smaller one), take in a movie and a beer at the Bagdad, and grab a bite to eat... anywhere, but you must check out the food cart pod down in the lower portion. Bring a search party as you may just vanish in the Bar-muda Triangle in upper Hawthorne.

Hoyt Arboretum ~ 4000 SW Fairview Blvd., Portland, OR 97221
Phone: (503) 865-8733, http://www.hoytarboretum.org/
What can I say? Portlanders like to hike. Can you blame them when we have so many great options to do so within the city limits? Here’s another 185 acres for you.

Imago Theater ~ 17 SE 8th Ave,. Portland, OR 97214-1239
Phone: (503) 231-9581, http://imagotheatre.com/
I’m not much for the theater, but I’m a huge fan of imagination. This troupe of performers run parallel to Cirque du Soleil, but on a local scale and budget. What they lack in money for special effects is made up for in originality.

The Japanese Garden ~ 611 SW Kingston Ave., Portland, OR 97201
Phone: (503) 223-1321, http://www.japanesegarden.com/
Another nice place to walk around and find a little peace and quiet. And it’s Godzilla free.

John’s Market ~ 3535 SW Multnomah Blvd., Portland, OR 97219-3761
Phone: (503) 244-2617
Portland is certainly the land of beer, and while we are flooded with microbrew pubs, sometimes it’s nice to grab a few bottles of your favorite import, or some obscure brew from New Jersey. If you have a favorite and you can’t seem to find it anywhere, try John’s Market. If somebody knows a grocery store with a more expansive beer section than this place, please let me know.
Update 8/5/08: I seriously need to go check out Belmont Station.

Last Thursday ~ http://www.artonalberta.org/
In response to the snobbery of the Pearl District’s First Thursday, the resident artisans of NE Alberta started up Last Thursday where just about anybody is welcome to set up shop on the sidewalks along this rejuvenated part of town once known simply as “dangerous”.

Live Wire! Radio ~ http://www.livewireradio.org/
Roughly once a month this outfit invades the Aladdin Theater, and sometimes at the Liberty Theater down in Astoria, to record and broadcast their shows. It’s a little live music from local and national acts, it’s a little book talk, it gets a little political, and it’s just a little bit of nostalgia, perhaps how America used to be before the days of television. This is pure Portland.

Local Sports ~
Where do I begin?

How about a little American soccer with the Portland Timbers, just watch out for the Timber Army. Yes, even Portland can have soccer hooligans. And keep an eye out for the one and only Timber Jim and his giant chain saw.
*Update-Timber Jim has announced his retirement and the 2008 season home opener will be his send off game - Thanks for the memories Timber Jim*
http://www.portlandtimbers.com/

Maybe basketball with the Portland Trailblazers… http://www.nba.com/blazers

Are you more of a hockey fan and want to see the Portland Winterhawks… http://www.winterhawks.com/

Mount Tabor ~
http://www.portlandonline.com/parks/finder/index.cfm?PropertyID=275&action=ViewPark
I consider this the east side sister park to Gabriel Park. Mt. Tabor is full of endless trails, picnic benches, sports, and a great dog park.

Movie Madness ~ 4320 SE Belmont St., Portland, OR 97215-1632
Phone: (503) 234-4363, http://www.moviemadnessvideo.com/
Holy Crap! This place is a shrine to film. If they don’t have it on DVD or VHS it doesn’t exist. From the outside, this place looks like a little neighborhood video store. When you walk in I am reminded of something out of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory as the place seems to triple in size.

Multnomah Village ~ http://www.multnomahvillage.org/joomla
Portland is full of these little pocket neighborhoods that have their distinct personalities. Aside from the not very welcome Starbucks, Multnomah Village is home to O’Connor’s, Fat City Café, one of three Lucky Lab Brewpubs, The Ship Tavern, and Marco’s Café for all your food and beverage needs. If Powell’s Bookstore is too much for you, another local favorite at about 1/1000th the size is Annie Bloom’s Bookstore. Or go find that favorite beer at John’s Market.

Music Millennium ~ 3158 East Burnside, Portland, OR 97214
Phone: 503-231-8943
http://www.buymusichere.net/rel/v2_home.php?storenr=23&deptnr=1
One of Portland’s great scandals of the past year was allowing Music Millennium to be run out of their digs on NW 23rd due to real estate greed. Yes, they had their second location to fall back on, but Music Millennium on 23rd was one of the last great music shops around town. And these people really know their music. Have you ever had that one obscure artist that nobody carries? They had it. And if they didn’t have it, they’d get it to you in no time. And then throw in their live music performances while you shopped?!?!? C’mon! This place was greatness. Now I have to go to the east side for my CD needs when not purchasing online.

Nob Hill ~ http://www.nobhillbiz.com/nobhill
Once a grimy district inhabited by many of Portland’s homeless, the streets of NW 23rd and 21st have grown into one of the most snooty toot shopping districts in PDX, packed full of the Il, El, Le, and La eateries I despise so much. The street is lined with BMW’s, Audi’s, and $35,000 Harley Davidson where the ever so dangerous Lake Oswego chapter of the Hell’s Angels get their lattes. “Why yes, I’d love to pay $9 for a martini that isn’t even really a martini.” But amongst all the snobbery, Nob Hill is also home to the Lompoc, Escape From NY Pizza, the Blue Moon Tavern, Cinema 21, Typhoon!, Basta’s Pasta, and Marrakesh. Just watch out for those desperate housewives racing to Pottery Barn.

Oaks Amusement Park ~ SE Spokane St., Portland, OR 97202
Phone: (503) 233-5777, http://oakspark.com/
Did you really think I would create a city guide without referencing at least one of my multiple brushes with death? Odds are, you will not be thrown from a ride here, but let’s just say I was and I know of one other person. Hey, take a camera. You never know when you’ll see a body being shot into the cotton candy machine from the Octopus.

Oregon Museum of Science & Industry (OMSI) ~
1945 SE Water Ave., Portland, OR 97214-3354,
Phone: (503) 797-6674, http://omsi.edu/
Back in the day OMSI used to be located up by the Oregon Zoo. My favorite memories go back to the school field trips where somebody (not me) would run up to that machine where you could type in a word and it would repeat the word in a loud robotic voice. It was always guaranteed that somebody would punch in the F word. As the machine began screaming out the famous four letter word kids would scatter laughing hysterically, terrified that they’d get the blame. But now in their new digs under the Marquam Bridge, OMSI is home to the USS Blueback Submarine, Omnimax, laser shows for your stoner needs, a planetarium, and various touring exhibits that will blow your mind featuring such things as mummified vaginas.

Oregon Zoo ~ 4001 SW Canyon Rd., Portland, OR 97221-2705
Phone: (503) 226-1561, http://www.oregonzoo.org/
Back in 6th grade I wanted to be a Zookeeper. It was my dream. For my career report I went to the zoo where I was given an insiders tour. It was amazing. But once I learned how much science I would have to take in college, I changed my mind and got a ‘C’ on my report. But to this day, the zoo is still one of my favorite things in Portland. Although I am still haunted by the vision of the male orangutan mounting the female right in front of me, and then smiling at me while he was nailing her from behind.

PDX Pedicab ~ Phone: (503) 828-9888, www.pdxpedicab.com/Pdx_Pedicab/Home.html
And what better way than to take in Portland than the eco-friendly pedal powered cabs that can carry up to three people (small people I would guess) in a small cart, all powered by your tour guide, a couple of pedals, and three wheels.

The Pearl District ~ http://explorethepearl.com/
I’m not the biggest fan of this trendy district that is located in what was once the garbage pit of Portland. But, they do have First Thursday, Pho Van, Rogue Brewery, the Low Brow Lounge, and a handful of other enjoyable bars and restaurants. I don’t know… maybe if you added another zero to my paycheck I’d get it.

Pioneer Courthouse Square ~ 715 SW Morrison St., Portland, OR 97205
http://www.pioneercourthousesquare.org/
Home to summer concerts, political gatherings, the Winter Ale Festival, and Portland’s homeless street youth, Pioneer Square is one of Portland’s better place around town for people watching. And isn’t it convenient that a Starbucks is right there? And while you’re loitering, see if you can find the Stutzman family brick.

Pittock Mansion ~ 3229 NW Pittock Dr., Portland, OR 97210-5099
Phone: (503) 823-3624, http://www.pittockmansion.org/
I didn’t mention this place because of my fondness for the ginormous house. I listed this because it really does have one of the greatest views around town. And at one point in time, it was the greatest location in the city to sneak up to on the 4th of July and watch three or four firework displays at once. But, now the trees have grown too tall and it isn’t so easy to see everything.

Portland Aerial Tram ~ http://portlandtram.org/index.htm
Accessible at either OHSU or the South Waterfront District.
While you're not going to get my butt in that thing, I figured it was worth mentioning to those who would be interested. Although, I have to admit I do pledge my support to those in the neighborhood below the tram who fought so hard to keep this monstrosity out of their backyards.

Portland Art Museum ~ 1219 SW Park Ave., Portland, OR 97205
Phone: (503) 226-2811, http://portlandartmuseum.org/
What can I say? Big Ben! Parliament! It’s a museum. Museums always rock.

Portland Classical Chinese Garden ~ 239 NW Everett St., Portland, OR 97209
Phone: (503) 224-3506, http://www.portlandchinesegarden.org/
Ok, ok… I get it. Portland loves all things Asian and gardens. It’s everywhere.

Portland Haunted Tour ~ http://www.portlandhauntedtour.com/
I love finding things I’ve never heard of. I’ll try and check this out as soon as possible. Who doesn’t like getting scared?

Portland International Airport ~ 7000 NE Airport Way, Portland, OR 97218-1009
Phone: (503) 460-4234
I can already see everybody’s faces. “The airport?” Yes, the airport. I’m not talking about hanging out in the airport. When I was a little kid I have these memories of the family packing a picnic, hanging out somewhere on the outskirts of the airport, and watching planes taking off and landing. This was way before Wayne and Garth. I still drive out there now and then. You just drive around to figure out which runways are being used that day and find a spot on the side of the road where they are approaching. If I were you, I wouldn’t make any suspicious movements though or you just might find the airport police surrounding your car.

Portland Police Museum ~ 1111 SW Second Avenue., Portland, OR 97212
Phone: (503) 823-0019, http://www.portlandpolicemuseum.com/
Wow! I totally forgot about this. I remember visiting this place when I was a little kid. It used to be located fairly close to one of my Dad’s old bars in Old Town, now Hobo’s. I stumbled across the website while putting this project together. I think I’ll have to go make another visit.

Powell’s Books ~ 1005 W Burnside St., Portland, OR 97209
Phone: (503) 228-4651, http://www.powells.com/
There are two places celebrities go to when they visit Portland… The Acropolis strip club and Powell’s Books. While Powell’s has numerous satellite stores around the PDX area, their main hub downtown is now famous. At one point they were reportedly outselling Amazon.com when it came to online book sales. The multi-storied warehouse of word containing devices takes up an entire city block and if you are new to Powell’s it is strongly suggested you arm yourself with a map of the place. While I’m not a frequent shopper there, I have been there numerous times and still get overwhelmed when trying to find something.

Radio ~ One area where Portland suffers is its offering of stand out radio. It may be a nationwide crisis, but it certainly has hit Portland. Flooded with Nickelback, Oasis, and Bonnie Raitt, most Portland stations are owned by a handful of companies, thus we are stuck with the same formulaic crap where you essentially hear 15 select bands for each station rotated throughout the day. BUT... we drive, therefore we listen. Here's my brief picks. I'm not an NPR person, so there will be no glory here. My brain just can't buy into it.
92.3 KGON - Classic Rock: Perhaps the oldest station in Portland in regards to the fact that they still have some of the same DJ's from when I was a kid.
94.7 KNRK - Alternative: This is perhaps my only salvation on the dial at the moment. NRK does a good job of mixing up the old and new, featuring up and coming artists, and sharing international bands that most U.S. stations wouldn't dare play.
97.1 Charlie - "We Play Everything": Well, not quite. You won't hear any Slayer or Cat Butt on this station, but it is a mix of some of the most popular songs from the notable genres.
101.9 KINK - Adult Contemporary: KINK is Portland's comfort station. You'll hear Van Morrison, Eric Clapton, Oasis, Bonnie Raitt, and other softer sides of Rock. I like KINK, but they are owned by the same formula monsters of repetition. From time to time you will discover potential up and comers. And KINK is perhaps the most local station available as far as being in touch with Portland culture.
105.9 The Brew - This station just made a recent conversion to putting a spotlight on 80's Rock and edgier Pop/New Wave music.

Rose Test Garden ~ 400 SW Kingston Dr., Portland, OR 97205-5883
Phone: (503) 823-3636, http://www.rosegardenstore.org/thegardens.cfm
This portion of Washington Park is home to another fantastic view of Portland. I have great memories of being an unruly teenager in this park. And the best part… if you can time it right, you can hike along the train tracks and sneak into the zoo for free. Time it wrong, and you’ll be train splatter.

The Rose City Rollers ~ http://rosecityrollers.com/
Roller Derby has quickly become one of my favorite things on this planet. How can one not find great joy in watching scantily clad women on roller skates knocking the crap out of each other? And it’s not just me. From what I understand, roller derby is growing at a decent rate. In 2008, Portland will be hosting the National Finals for women’s flat track derby. So who are you going to cheer for? My personal favorites are the Heartless Heathers. But you can always pick from the Breakneck Betties, High Rollers, or the Guns ‘N’ Rollers. And these four local teams have all-star players who make up Portland’s national team, the Wheels of Justice. It’s loud, it’s vicious, and it’s very rock and roll.

SakéOne ~ 820 Elm St., Forest Grove, OR 97116-3041
Phone: (503) 357-7056, http://www.sakeone.com/
Over the past few years my love for great beer has been challenged by my new love for saké. Don’t ask me to explain it. I just love the stuff. And SakéOne is the only American owned and operated saké brewery in the country. So there!

Saturday Market ~ 108 W Burnside St., Portland, OR 97209
Phone: (503) 222-6072, http://www.portlandsaturdaymarket.com/
My memories of the Saturday Market run deep. It’s been around almost as long as I can remember. It’s where I fell in love with Elephant Ears. Of course it’s not what it once was, but what is? In its early days, Saturday Market was fresh food and local merchants selling hand made goods. It has now been tainted with booths selling Guatemalan handbags, hippie hats, and three for $10 t-shirts. But it’s still great for people watching, eating some great food, taking in live music, checking out street performers, and every now and then catching Portland’s resident whack job, Elvis, doing what he does best… disrupting any performer stealing his thunder near the Skidmore Fountain. March thru December on Saturdays and Sundays.

Secret Aardvark Habanero Hot Sauce ~ http://www.secretaardvark.com/
The word Habanero can send fear into most people... "it's too hot,"... "I can't take it..." Don't be fooled by the name of this Portland made sauce. Yeah, it has some kick, but it's quick and painless. Once you feel the bite, you are then drawn into a mouthful of flavor. You may have seen it on the table on one of over 100 hundred restaurants in the Portland area, but don't stop there. Grab a bottle for your home. Put it on EVERYTHING. It can be most easily found at Whole Foods or New Seasons.

Sellwood ~ http://www.portlandneighborhood.com/sellwood-moreland.html
Another hot shopping and eating district in Portland. Sellwood is one of those areas where you’re not quite sure where it begins and it ends. Once known simply for it’s variety of antique shops, Sellwood has become a haven for good food, hot bars, and even a bit of shopping.

Portland Underground/Shanghai Tunnel Tours ~ 120 NW Third Ave., Portland, OR
Phone: (503) 622-4798, http://www.shanghaitunnels.info/
Most beautiful things have a deep, dark secret. Portland isn’t any different. From the 1850’s until World War II Portland was predominantly known as a shipping port. And in those days, Portland wasn’t what we shall call “safe”. Let’s say you happened to stumble into a bar, have one too many drinks, and then bang! The floor beneath you drops, you’re shackled up, and the next thing you know you’re waking up on a boat to China where you will either work as a slave or be thrown overboard. You’ve been Shanghaied!!! And Portland has a vast network of underground tunnels where this all took place. Wanna see it? Well then contact these guys.

Stark’s Vacuum Cleaner Museum ~ 107 NE Grand Ave., Portland, OR 97322
Phone: 1-800-230-4101, http://www.starks.com/aboutus_thevacuummuseum.php
Really? Ok, they say it’s here. I’ll go. I’ll check it out. A vacuum cleaner museum. Why not?

Theater Pubs ~ (Various)
Many years ago, McMenamins launched the Mission Theater. It was a movie theater where you could eat regular food and drink beer. Yes, the moons had aligned just right and somebody finally figured out what the masses had been praying for. Now there is a theater pub near just about every neighborhood in town.

Laurelhurst Theater: 2735 E Burnside, Portland, OR 97714,
Phone: (503) 232-5511
http://www.laurelhursttheater.com/home.html
Multiple theaters, so you always have a great selection of movies to choose from.

+++The Academy Theater: 7818 SE Stark St., Portland, OR 97215,
Phone: (503) 252-0500, http://www.academytheaterpdx.com/
A fantastic place. Perhaps my favorite to go catch a movie with some Flying Pie pizza, and a cold beer... or three.

Living Room Theaters: 341 SW 10th Ave., Portland, OR 97205,
Phone: 971-222-2010, http://www.livingroomtheaters.com/

Valley Cinema Pub: 9360 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Hwy., Beaverton, OR 97005
Phone: 503-296-6843, http://www.valleytheater.net/index.html
While they did a great job on the renovation, they could have splurged and not kept the same seats I once saw Fast Times At Ridgemont High in.

McMenamins: http://www.mcmenamins.com/index.php?type=theater
Choose between The Mission on NW Glisan (B-), The Bagdad on SE Hawthorne (A), The Kennedy School on NE 33rd (B+), The Grand Lodge in Forest Grove (F), The Edgefield in Troutdale, or The St. John’s Theater in N. Portland.

Tom McCall Waterfront Park ~ 1020 SW Naito Pkwy., Portland, OR 97204
Phone: (503) 224-4400, http://www.portlandonline.com/parks/finder/index.cfm?PropertyID=156&action=ViewPark
Waterfront Park is one of Portland’s brightest features. From hosting numerous annual events year round to it’s fantastic walking path that loops around the west and east sides of the Willamette River, Willamette Park is like the city’s backyard party. If you time it right, hop on board one of the many different river cruise tour boats docked along the walkway. My one bit of advice… stay away from the Salmon Street Springs. This messy water exhibit is packed full of the worst communicable diseases known to man as it’s where all the parents bring their children to spread the plague in the fountain.

Uwajimaya ~ 10500 SW Beaverton Hillsdale Hwy., Beaverton, OR 97005-3111
Phone: (503) 643-4512, http://www.uwajimaya.com/
Portland is full of great grocery options… New Season Market, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, blah blah blah… but if you want to go find the weirdest of the weird you need to head to Uwajimaya for all your Asian cooking needs. This place has things that some people would only eat due to losing a bet. But don’t get me wrong… it’s delicious. Their deli is fantastic. And even if you’re not hungry, their produce section is almost like a museum of things never seen before.

Viso ~ http://www.drinkviso.com/
Personally, I can't take the caffeine, but leave it to these guys to come up with an all-natural energy drink that can still give you some pep while remaining caffeine free. Sure, they make varieties with caffeine, but the non-caffeinated version I tried had me bouncing in a matter of minutes. Oh, did I mention it tastes pretty dang good and is extremely refreshing? Another Portland product to be proud of. Available in select places... just look around. It's not hiding.

World Forestry Center ~ 4033 SW Canyon Rd., Portland, OR 97221Phone: (503) 228-1367, http://www.worldforestry.org/You don’t have to be a tree hugger to enjoy this expansive focus on the world’s life support system.

365

2007-12-02T11:29:00.001-08:00

Art In The Pearl ~ http://www.artinthepearl.com/
Labor Day weekend located in the NW Portland park blocks. Art, art, and more art. Oh yeah, and more art.

Bite of Oregon ~ http://www.biteoforegon.com/
Early August down at Waterfront Park. National & local live music, food, & Beverages. Where else can you see Patti Smith, The Barenaked Ladies, and Cheap Trick for free?

Bones & Brew ~ http://www.rogue.com/
Early August near the Rogue Brewing Company in the Pearl District. BBQ, live music, & beer. It’s not what it once was, but it’s also better than it’s been.
2008 Recap: I seemed to enjoy last year's event much more. Maybe it was the selection of beer. Did we have to pay $3 to get in last year? Were the little cups of beer $4 last year? Was the School of Rock playing Yngwie J. Malmsteen? I did enjoy all the dogs present this year, including a pair of massive Neoplitan Mastiff's that stole all the attention.

Britt Festival ~ http://www.brittfest.org/
A summer long celebration of music ranging from Classical to Rockabilly. It’s an anything goes series of concerts in Jacksonville, Oregon. A music lover’s paradise.

Bumbershoot Music & Arts Festival ~ http://www.bumbershoot.org/
Head north to Seattle each Labor Day weekend for this multi-day celebration of local, national, and international acts. Diversity is the key word.

Christmas Ship Parade ~ http://www.christmasships.org/
Starting early December a group of people and their dressed up boats set sail each night up and down the Columbia and Willamette Rivers. Check the website for specific times and locations each day.

Cinco de Mayo Fiesta ~ http://www.cincodemayo.org/
Generally the first weekend of May turns Waterfront Park into a massive Mexi-celebration. Food, live music, dancing, and cervezas!

Festa Italiana ~ http://www.festa-italiana.org/
Another early-mid August celebration located in Portland’s living room, Pioneer Courthouse Square. Who doesn’t like spaghetti?

Festival of Balloons ~ http://www.tigardballoon.org/
Have you ever wanted to go smashing into a high voltage power line? Here’s your chance.

Greek Festival ~ http://www.goholytrinity.org/festival.php
Lamb, gyros, & spanakopita!!! The first weekend of October is all about going Greek at the Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Cathedral on NE Glisan.

Holiday Ale Festival ~ http://www.holidayale.com/html/frameset.htm
If anybody is interested in seeing me at my happiest, then come along for this event. I love dark, flavorful beers. I love cold weather. And I love Portland. This first weekend of December extravaganza brings my three loves together for one great weekend. I highly recommend going on a Friday as the really good stuff is usually washed up by Saturday afternoon. And if you see me talking to a Christmas tree just keep on walking.

Hood To Coast Relay ~ http://www.hoodtocoast.com/
I once drove a support van for this late August weekend long road trip. It was definitely an experience. I was exhausted and I wasn’t even running. Two vans per team running different legs from Mt. Hood all the way to Seaside. Although I do remember one guy who was punch drunk as he was running the whole thing by himself.

Mt. Angel Oktoberfest ~ (Event website down, but check here… http://www.mtangel.org/ for more information)
The last time I went to this mother of all Oktoberfest celebrations just miles down I-5 I woke up in a cow pasture as I heard my friends looking for me. I didn’t pass out. I just needed to get out of that beer tent and find a place to lie down until it was time to go. I honestly didn’t realize there were cows all around me. Look for it in early September. And yes, Portland does have plenty of local Oktoberfest options such as Widmer’s and the one at Oaks Park.

Mt. Hood Jazz Festival ~ http://www.mthoodjazz.org/
There’s definitely something up with that first weekend in August in Portland. It seems everybody wants to have their event that weekend. This is one of the nation’s largest gatherings of Jazz greats and the show has become world famous. Located at Mt. Hood Community College.
Musicfest NW ~ http://www.musicfestnw.com
In early September the majority of Portland music venues take part in hosting this four night celebration of local and international acts.

Newport Seafood & Wine Festival ~ http://www.newportchamber.org/swf
What started out as a classy weekend getaway festival has turned into a “chug yer wine” festival. Ok, I’m game. I’ve actually never been to this, but I have heard enough war stories to know that it’s probably best I just not go near it. Hmm? Too much wine and crab. Yeah, I’ve been there before and don’t want to revisit.

Oregon Brewers Festival ~ http://www.oregonbrewfest.com/
Every late July, Portland’s Waterfront Park becomes the home of two tents, each nearly the length of a football field. Inside these tents are six truck trailers full of kegs representing some of the best beers in the country. It’s weekends like this that keep me from completely buying into Atheism.
2008 Recap: Perhaps the best selection of beers I've ever had there. I continue to be baffled how one token gets you a cup poured anywhere from three fingers to four fingers, yet four tokens will fill your mug. If you're an intelligent person, you would never fill your mug as you will get way more beer for your buck to just do the tasters. And if you're a guy, try to find the girls pouring. If your a girl, try to find the guys pouring. You're almost always guaranteed to get a good "taster" when poured by a member of the opposite sex.

Oregon Country Fair ~ http://www.oregoncountryfair.org/
Have you ever wanted to take off all your clothes, eat a bunch of magic brownies, and go twirl to a fifteen minute guitar solo? Me neither. But Oregon is full of people who love this stuff. In the little town of Veneta, just outside Eugene, the Oregon Country Fair plays host to the free spirited for a long, long strange trip… er… weekend.

Oregon International Air Show ~ http://www.oregonairshow.com/
Hey, I’d tell you to go get your tickets to this early August event, but why go pay money and wait in lines when you can sit in my driveway with me and some friends. Yes, I’d say about 50% of the air show is completely visible from my very own home. But, I have actually gone to the event and must say it’s pretty impressive to see these machines up close and personal. And seeing as how one jet already crashed on a nearby neighborhood in 2005, odds are that it’s pretty safe now.

Oregon State Fair ~ http://www.oregonstatefair.org/
Look, I’m just not down with hanging out with swine, mullets, and horse poop. So, you know… if you are then go. I’ve already seen REO Speedwagon and Loverboy.

PDX Pop Now ~ http://www.pdxpopnow.com/
The first weekend of August the folks at PDX Pop Now have their annual music festival at AudioCinema. The event is free and is put on as a means to expose new up and coming local talent.

Portland Highland Games ~ http://www.phga.org/
I once walked into the original Biddy McGraw’s after attending my first Highland Games. An old Scotsman walked up to me and said, “ay, you must be one of the caber tossers!” I had to laugh. Check for this mid-July event at its usual Mt. Hood Community College haunt. Stone & hammer throwing, tug-o-war, beer, bagpipes, dancing competitions, herding dogs, pasties, and other various meat cakes are abundant.

Portland Rose Festival ~ http://www.rosefestival.org/
Rain drenched parades, horny sailors and gang bangers hanging out at the waterfront, dragon boat races, Indy car racing, and tweakers on roller coasters… Yes, the Rose Festival has something for everyone each spring in Portland during this two week celebration.

St. Patrick’s Day Celebration ~ http://www.kellsirish.com/portland/index.php
I don’t like giving Kell’s exclusive credit to all the different St. Patty’s day celebrations about town, but it is the largest this side of the Mississippi River. And in its day, this was one Hell of a party. It’s become a bit of a frat boy party these days and Kell’s will do whatever they can to steal your money, including telling you its free admission until 6:00 and then charging you anyway.

Sandcastle Day ~ http://www.cannonbeach.org/events/sandcastle.htm
Every June Cannon Beach is turned upside down as the beach becomes packed with folks carving mounds of sand into dogs playing poker, Yoda, and some sort of NASCAR tribute. I’m still waiting for that sculpture of some guy with sand in his crack.

Sauvie Island ~ http://www.sauvieisland.org/
This is one of my favorite places in the fall. It’s not just the corn maze and pumpkin patch, but it’s that fresh apple cider. It’s the trees all turning colors. It’s the hiking and biking in the warmer months. Ummm, it’s not necessarily the naked beach, though.

Spring Beer & Wine Festival ~ http://www.springbeerfest.com/
If I remember correctly, this late March event at the Portland Convention Center was a little pricey, but hey, it’s a beer celebration. So why not?

Time-Based Art Festival (TBA) ~ http://www.pica.org/
The Portland Institute for Contemporary Art (PICA) is still in the early stages of its experimental celebration of the arts. Taking place each early September, this project is all over the map. I encourage you to take a look at the website for more information. It’s new and edgy, but I have a feeling this event will just keep growing.

Tualatin Crawfish Festival ~ http://www.tualatincrawfishfestival.com/
Touted as the nations largest crawfish festival, this early-mid August celebration is packed with live music, beer, and, you guessed it, crawfish… crawdads… fresh water lobster.

Waterfront Blues Festival ~ http://www.waterfrontbluesfest.com/
This 4th of July celebration of the Blues continues to get bigger and bigger every year. I have seen the line ups go from locals to local heroes to national Blues masters. Depending on how the calendar falls, this event can go from a few days to nearly a week long. And it’s become one of the biggest in the country.

Tripometer

2007-12-02T11:28:00.002-08:00

Bend, Oregon ~ http://www.ci.bend.or.us/
Just three hours southeast of Portland, Bend is Oregon’s premier outdoor recreation area for any time of the year. Every time I go to Bend I am shocked at the growth. What was once a tiny ski resort town shadowed by Mt. Bachelor has grown into a small city. You know that any place that actually gets Willie Nelson to play summer shows must be for reals. And no matter what you do, finish your night off at the Deschutes Brewery for a freshly poured Black Butte Porter right out of the tap. It’s hard to beat.

Casinos ~ http://www.spirit-mountain.com/ , http://www.chinookwindscasino.com/ , http://www.warmsprings.com/warmsprings/Business_Directory/High_Desert_Resort__Casino Seeing as how Oregon is made up of plenty of Native American reservations, it only makes sense that we’re loaded with casinos as well. You can stop along your drive to Lincoln City or just go to Lincoln City for gambling needs, or head over to Warm Springs for a little blackjack in the high plains desert.

The Columbia Gorge ~ http://www.columbiagorge.com/
The first time you take this drive down I-84 east bound you’ll be breathless at the landscape. Loaded with miles and miles of hiking trails, the gorge is tattooed with waterfalls and viewpoints to take it all in. And if you drive another three hours north along the Columbia River you’ll find yourself at the Gorge Amphitheater… perhaps one of the best venues in the world to see a concert. Who doesn’t want to see Dave Matthews on a stage hanging over a scenic canyon at sundown?

Crater Lake ~ http://www.nps.gov/crla
I’m not sure how this place isn’t one of the Seven Wonders of the World. I’m even more amazed at how many Oregonians I’ve met who have never been there. It’s not like I’m trying to talk you into driving to Wildlife Safari, although it isn’t too far away… And if you’re ever up on Mt. Hood, be sure to check out Little Crater Lake for a spooky encounter with a crystal clear body of water just big enough for some creature to spring from and eat your soul.

Eugene, Oregon ~ http://www.eugene-or.gov/portal/server.pt
It may sound silly, but I never get tired of a road trip to see the Oregon Duck football team play in the loudest stadium in the country. And why not stop off for some BBQ Chicken pizza at Pegasus Pizza? Or go walk the campus for an Animal House tour.

Kingfish Cafe ~ 602 19th Ave. East, Seattle, WA 98112, Phone: (206) 320-8757,
http://www.thekingfishcafe.com/
Welcome to what I consider the finest dining experience you'll ever encounter. The Kingfish is my weakness when it comes to restaurants. And their catfish is my weakness when it comes to their menu. The restaurant is hands down my favorite place to eat. While I rarely order anything but the catfish, I've tasted just about everything on the southern comfort food menu and you can't lose. The place is family run by very warm and smiling people. My one warning, either get there by 5:00 or prepare to stand around waiting for a table.

Mt. Hood ~ http://www.mthood.info/
The little mountain that could. Famous for lost hikers, alpine slides, and washed out roads, this not quite extinct volcano is loaded with ski resorts, trails for hiking/cross country skiing/show shoeing, camping sites, fishing, and mountaineering. And the east side of the mountain is amazing in the fall.

Mt. St. Helens ~ http://www.fs.fed.us/gpnf/mshnvm
I remember being out in a little row boat on a lake the day this mountain blew up. It was a clear day with mirror like water. All of the sudden clouds rolled in and the wind began to push the boat around. Sensing something was wrong we came home. And there it was… a giant plume shooting out of a mountain that was half gone. We sat on an old road up in Brush Prairie watching the mountain erupt as lightening shot back and forth within the plume. A day or two later our cars, the ground, and the houses were covered in a layer of ash. My point? You can now hike up the side of that mountain and see the crater.

The Oregon Coast ~
To me, there is nothing more revitalizing than a weekend at the coast. And Oregon’s coastline has been recognized as one of the most beautiful in the world. I’d have to agree. While Cannon Beach will always have a soft spot in my heart, the rest of the northern coast isn’t too shabby either. Be sure to check out the Pacific Way Café after a day of digging razor clams in Gearhart for one of the best sandwiches around. Spend a day checking out the new growth of Astoria. Spend a quiet weekend in Manzanita. Watch the surfers at Oswald State Park. Take the last week of December or the last week of March to go whale watching. Rent a Yurt at Cape Lookout. Watch the hang gliders in Oceanside. Go crabbing in Netarts Bay. Get a piece of home made beef jerky or an ice cream cone after a tour of the Tillamook Cheese Factory. Take your pick.

Oregon Wine Country ~ http://www.oregonwine.org/
If you take a short drive down 99W you will quickly find yourself in one of the top wine countries on the planet. Quickly becoming recognized as some of the best wine makers around, Oregon wineries have hit it big. I remember a couple years back I was on a cruise in the Caribbean. I was having dinner in the snooty toot fancy restaurant one night and they bragged about featuring their wine selection from the Oregon vineyards. I laughed and told the waiter, “oh yes, that particular winery is about twenty miles from my home. I drink that stuff all the time.” In my opinion, and I’m not much of a wine snob, there isn’t much better to drink in this world than an Oregon Pinot Noir. Even if you’re not a drinker, the view alone will knock you out. One of my personal favorites is Cana's Feast. You'll feel like you just drove into Tuscany with your bottle of wine, a delicious plate of antipasti, and a few rounds of bocce ball set in front of a view to kill.

The San Juan Islands ~ http://www.guidetosanjuans.com/
I was introduced to the San Juan Islands when I was still in grade school. And I hated it. It was so boring. What’s a twelve year old boy to do on an island? And for that very reason I now love it. Twelve year old boys are a rarity. I have spent the majority of my time on San Juan Island. I have been to Orcas Island, but it was pretty sparse in the off season. As for Friday Harbor on San Juan Island, spend a day in town eating, drinking, and shopping. Take a drive around the island to see beautiful resorts, deserted military camps that nearly put the British and U.S. forces at war over a pig, or go to the northern point to take a glance at the Canadian horizon. Go whale watching where the orca nearly swim right up to your boat. Spend a day doing nothing but sitting on the water watching the seals, otters, bald eagles, and dolphins spending their time. And if you’re lucky, maybe a pod of orca will swim by. Should that big Powerball number hit, I know where I’m headed.

Wooden Shoe Tulip Farm ~ http://www.woodenshoe.com/freshcut.html
I’m pretty much a guy’s guy. I watch football. I drink beer. I love rock and roll. I eat meat. But this tulip place is pretty cool. It’s pretty amazing to walk around the acres of colors with Mt. Hood as your back drop.

This & That

2007-12-02T11:26:00.000-08:00

Portland became an official city in 1851. Oregon became a state eight years later in 1859, the ninth largest in the U.S.A.

City Stats-
Population as of 2007:
City of Portland - 537,000
Complete metro area – 2,000,000
Population ranking in the U.S. – 23
Population per square mile – 3,939
Population per square mile ranking in the U.S. – 86
Median price for home in 2006 - $239,000

Nicknames –
The Rose City: Due to all of our roses of course.
Stumptown: Back in the 1850’s Portland was growing so fast they needed to build roads. There were so many trees they had to just cut them down, but didn’t have the man power or time to remove all the stumps right away.
Bridge City: This would be due to the fact that there are ten major bridges that connect Portland’s east and west sides; The St. John’s (my favorite), The Marquam, The Morrison, The Hawthorne, The Steel, The Fremont, The (ready to collapse any day) Sellwood, The Ross Island, The Burnside, and the Broadway.
PDX: It’s a hipster thing.
Beervana or Brewtopia: Due to Portlander’s love for beer and leading America into the microbrewery explosion.

Weather-
Average number of fully sunny days: 68
Average daily temperature: 60.2 degrees
Annual rainfall: 40 inches
Average temperature in January: 39.6 degrees
Average temperature in July: 68.2
Average number of days with rainfall: 155
Ranking for greatness amount of rainfall in the U.S. (major cities): 105

Other Random Per Capita Rankings In The U.S.-
(from random sources, which are always arguable, and as of 2009)
Most livable city in the world: 46
Bike friendly in U.S.: 2
Greatest life expectancy: 24
Greenest city in the U.S.: 1
Breast feeding friendly in the U.S.: 1
Strip clubs: 1
Vegetarian friendly: 4
Coffee Shops: 3
Micro-breweries: 1
Drunkest city: 20
Safe driving: 16
Rock & Roll cities: 9
Best city commuting: 10
Public transit: 20
Least congested: 23
Water quality: 2
Air quality: 2
Waste diversion: 5
Planning and land use: 4
Housing affordability: 32
Use of local food and agriculture: 5
State and local tax burden ranking (2007): 37
Gas prices (highest average): 38 out of 100
Property tax (highest average): 6 out of 50

Downfalls To Portland –
-You aren’t allowed to pump your own gas
-High gas prices
-Bad public school system
-No sales tax to alleviate other tax burdens
-Oregon’s Department Of Transportation has their heads buried deep in their… anus... when it comes to taking care of Portland’s highway/freeway systems.

Infamy -
Movies shot in Portland and/or Oregon: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Shining, Animal House, Goonies, Stand By Me, Mr. Brooks, Kindergarten Cop, Drugstore Cowboy, My Own Private Idaho, parts of Into The Wild, and Jackass. The tv show Leverage currently films here as well.

Number of characters on The Simpsons named after a Portland street: 6 –
Ned Flanders, Reverend Lovejoy, Mayor Quimby, Montgomery Burns (Burnside), Milhouse Van Housen, & Sideshow Bob Terwilliger.

Bands & Musicians from or based in Portland:
(not mentioned in Soon To Be Famous)
-The Kingsmen - The guys who made the song Louie Louie famous.
-Poison Idea – Legendary Punk band.
-The Dandy Warhols – Alt rockers who are now best known for VW commercials.
-Everclear – Portland band who sang about Santa Monica.
-Elliott Smith – Academy Award nominated Emo guy who stabbed himself in the heart.
-Sleater-Kinney – A band whose popularity confuses me.
-Stephen Malkmus – Former front man for Pavement.
-The Decemberists – Current Indie Pop darlings.
-The Shins – More Indie Pop guys who had a break out hit in the movie Garden State.
-Mel Brown – Former Motown drummer who still packs them in.
-Meredith Brooks – You know, the girl who is a self proclaimed “Bitch”.
-Nu Shooz – 80’s one hit wonders in the Pop world.
-Courtney Love – Grunge rock’s answer to Yoko Ono.
-Quarterflash – Once known as Seafood Mama.
-Curtis Salgado – The inspiration for The Blues Brothers.
-Paul Revere & The Raiders – Their biggest hits were Just Like Me and Indian Reservation.
-The Dan Reed Network – They almost made it if they weren’t so “Prince-like”.
-The Crazy 8’s – Had they waited ten more years to form, who knows???
-The Hudson Brothers – I have no idea about their music, but remember them having a Saturday morning show for kids.
-Blitzen Trapper - Part of the latest Indie Rock explosion.
-Storm Large - She's six feet tall, gorgeous, and will kick your ass.
-Keegan Smith - Take Jack Johnson, Bob Marley, Jason Mraz, Arrested Development, and Dave Mattews and throw them in a blender... and it's still not as good as Keegan Smith & His Fam.
-Pink Martini - Led by musical genius Thomas Lauderdale, this international big band, orchestra, rock group will have you in their spell within minutes. Perhaps Portland's biggest unknown international act.
-Cherry Poppin' Daddies - Launched out of Eugene, Oregon... these guys led the Big Band/Swing comeback. But don't be fooled. This multi-dimensional band can rock with the hardest of 'em.
-Catfight! - Don't be fooled by the 1 guy, 1 girl thing. These two have an arsenal of songs, and the creative force to put on one Hell of a show. Ok, sure... shows are sporadic, but when they do play, you will be a lesser person for missing out.

Authors From The Area :
-Beverly Cleary - Some of her best known characters are Henry Huggins, Ribsy, Beatrice ("Beezus") Quimby, and her sister Ramona.
-Chuck Palahniuk – Fight Club and Choke.
-Jean M. Auel – The Clan of the Cave Bear.
-Jon Krakauer (Corvallis) – Into the Wild and Into Thin Air.
-James Beard – Best known for his books on cooking.

People in Film & TV:
-Matt Groening (Animator) – Creator of The Simpsons and the Life in Hell comic strip.
-Gus Van Sant (Writer/Director) – Goodwill Hunting, Drugstore Cowboy, & My Own Private Idaho.
-River Phoenix (Actor) – Yes, he was born in Metolius.
-Sally Struthers (Actress) – Gloria from All in the Family.
-Sam Elliott (Actor) – I know, I know. I would have thought Texas or something.
-Lindsay Wagner (Actress) – Long before she was bionic.
-Katee Sackhoff (Actress) – Battlestar Galactica, 24, and the Bionic Woman
-Clark Gable (Actor) – Yup, he once was a necktie salesman at Meier & Frank.
-Mel Blanc (Voice Talent) – The voice behind Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, and the rest.
-Dallas McKennon (Voice Talent) – Best known for Gumby, Tony the Tiger, and multiple Disney films.
-Rebecca Schaeffer – From My Sister Sam, eventually murdered by a stalker that led to all the stalking laws.
-Ann Curry (News Anchor) – Went from Ashland, Oregon to the Today Show.
-Will Vinton (Animator) – The California Raisin guy.

Jocks:
-Ahmad Rashād aka Bobby Moore – Former NFL Hall of Famer and current sportscaster.
-“Rowdy” Roddy Piper – The most famous bad guy wrestler around.
-Peter Jacobsen – A golfer, right?
-Tonya Harding – Olympic skater famous for her trailer park morals.
-Phil Knight – The guy friggin’ owns NIKE!!!